In today's world, many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

#world #people #smartphone

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this

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modern society,

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smartphone

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smartphones

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becomes

Wrong verb form

have become

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an essential device for

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people

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people's

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life

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lives

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and it is a common thing

when

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that

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each person

all have

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has

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their own one.

This

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authur

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author

believes that the benefits of convenience and staying

update

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updated

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outweigh the

drawback

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drawbacks

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isolated

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an isolated

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community. The main advantage of

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smartphone

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a smartphone

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is its convenience. By

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this

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this,

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I mean that

people

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can easily find

any

Correct quantifier usage

apply

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help when they get into trouble by using

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Correct pronoun usage

their phone

show examples

phone

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phones

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to connect with others for assistance.

For instance

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, a person who suddenly has a heart attack

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show examples

a bus or in

public

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a public

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place can be moved to the nearest hospital by contacting

with

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apply

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the emergency medical room.

Besides

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, it

also

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be recognised that the public will stay

update

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updated

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earlier when using

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smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

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. In other

word

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words

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, dwellers can receive new information anytime and everywhere so that

people

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can update

news

Correct article usage

the news

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around them.

However

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isolated

Correct article usage

an isolated

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community is one of the problems that

smartphone

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brings to humans.

Phone

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addicting

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addiction

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is a thing that many individuals

encountered

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encounter

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thesedays

Correct your spelling

these days

People

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even stare at their

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phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

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for over an

hours

Correct the article-noun agreement

hour

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without

concentrate

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concentrating

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on everything around them. The public is getting isolated and neglect among

people

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create

Correct subject-verb agreement

creates

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distance making the community relationships loosen. Taking all points into account, the benefits of owning a

smartphone

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Unnecessary verb

apply

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outweigh

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apply

show examples

the convenience and staying

update

Wrong verb form

updated

show examples

Hence

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, every modern

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people

Fix the agreement mistake

person

show examples

should have their own

phone

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to keep track of

this

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digital era.

Submitted by [email protected] on Tue Jan 09 2024

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task response

Make sure your introduction clearly states your main argument and outlines the points you will discuss. Consider revising the first sentence for clarity. For example, you might say, 'In today's society, smartphones have become essential devices, and it is common for most people to own one. This essay will argue that the benefits of convenience and staying updated outweigh the drawbacks of an isolated community.'

coherence and cohesion

Ensure each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of that paragraph. This can help to improve the logical structure of your essay.

task response

Provide more detailed examples to support your points. Rather than just stating a general idea, include specific scenarios or data to enhance your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Work on connecting your points more smoothly. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument and help link different parts of your essay more effectively.

task response

Consider elaborating on the negative aspects of smartphones a bit more to provide a balanced view. This will strengthen your argument and provide a more comprehensive discussion.

task response

Your essay presents a clear stance, stating that the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages.

task response

You have identified relevant points such as convenience and staying updated, as well as the issue of isolated communities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

231 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

instant access
real-time updates
portable offices
emergency services
social media
navigation
cybersecurity
screen time
digital detox
environmental footprint

What to do next:

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In today's world, many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their countries. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to change this negative attitude towards international tourism?

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You have recently started work in a new company. Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter, •explain why you changed jobs •describe your new job •tell him / her your other news

In mordern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. 1. Why has this change occured? 2. Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

In many countries, women never feel need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn and therefore do not require financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree or disagree?