Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

It is a long-standing point of controversy whether young
people
should gain
experience
or knowledge first. Many
people
often say that young
people
should take a
job
for a few years between
school
and
university
, in my opinion,
this
suggestion has positive and negative aspects, a few of which will be discussed in
this
essay. On the one hand, the harmful effects of having a
job
between high
school
and
university
is that it will make you unable to focus on your studies because working and studying at the same
time
can cause your academic results to drop.
In addition
, it can
also
cause your health to decline because when you study and
work
too much, you will not have enough
time
to rest, causing your body to gradually become tired. And when they feel like they’re earning
money
like that, for some
people
they will have the thought “Oh I’ve earned
money
, why is it so easy?” That’s why they prioritize their
work
and neglecting studies leads to poor results and leads to quitting
school
to go to
work
. Apart from the fact that
this
could tempt them to shift their central focus to working, to the detriment of their educational process, going to
work
at a young age
as well as
not having enough
experience
will make students more likely to encounter bad
people
and be easily deceived
such
as being cheated of
money
or being tricked into illegal acts
On the other hand
, there are some benefits of taking a
job
for a few years between
school
and
university
. Gap years, in the first place, provide them with sufficient amounts of
time
to take their process of orientation into account before making the ultimate decision on which major they need to get into at college. Clearly, working is
also
considered a good thing because it can help you gain more
experience
in life, and at the same
time
, working can give you
money
and you can use that
money
to help your parents too. When we go to
work
, we will gain a lot of
experience
from our
work
, and from there we can learn valuable lessons for ourselves. If they soon figure out the mismatch between them and their current place of employment, they might think about switching jobs with the belief that walking away from opportunities that don't align with his/ her true selves and toward those that allow being authentically themselves at
work
in the future. Not only that, but working part-
time
will help you create new relationships with business owners, managers, colleagues, and even the customers you serve. These relationships will bring you many unexpected health benefits
such
as better
job
opportunities, help with studying in or out of
school
, trust, and help when you need it. In conclusion, I find that part-
time
jobs between high
school
, and the
university
are a good thing, but for good
people
, those who know how to arrange a reasonable
time
between studying and working. Those who are aware of their weaknesses will focus and study diligently for the sake of related improvement, making sure that they can become better because the path to success is the path of learning.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the intention of the essay. Refrain from including a personal opinion unless the question explicitly asks for it.
coherence cohesion
Work on conveying your ideas in a structured manner, maintaining a clear line of thought and providing logical transitions between ideas.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your main points and provide concrete illustrations of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words and cohesive devices to enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your conclusion summarizes the main points of the essay without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the presentation of your thoughts and ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea, followed by elaboration and examples.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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