Some people believe that arts such as painting and music do not improve people’s lives and therefore government should not spend money on them. Instead the government should spend money on science and technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Some argue that
instead
of Linking Words
Use synonyms
arts
field, the Correct article usage
the arts
government
should put more Use synonyms
supports
on science and technology development, Fix the agreement mistake
support
arts
do not improve residents' living. I disagree with Use synonyms
this
opinion.
Linking Words
Arts
Use synonyms
such
as painting and music Linking Words
is
an essential Verb problem
apply
element
that can help Fix the agreement mistake
elements
maintaining
Wrong verb form
maintain
people
's mental health, so the Use synonyms
government
should spend Use synonyms
money
on Use synonyms
it
. Correct pronoun usage
them
Although
,in Hong Kong, the Linking Words
Use synonyms
arts
therapy industry is not well-developed, there Change the noun form
art
are
no lack of articles and research Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show
the benefit of Wrong verb form
showing
Use synonyms
arts
therapy in different foreign countries. In the therapy process, the clients may talk to the therapist and do paintings Change the noun form
art
according to
their wants. They can relax and communicate with themselves to enhance their mental health. Linking Words
In addition
, music can be a way to express Linking Words
people
's Use synonyms
emotion
. Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
However
, the Linking Words
government
spend less Use synonyms
money
on them. Since Use synonyms
arts
can Use synonyms
maintain
Verb problem
help
people
to be mentally healthy, the Use synonyms
government
should spend Use synonyms
money
on developing them.
Use synonyms
Emphrasing
on science and technology is the trend in Correct your spelling
Emphasizing
21st
century. Change the article
the 21st
However
, we cannot forget the important role of Linking Words
arts
in Use synonyms
the
human history. The expert studying history Correct article usage
apply
need
to appreciate the artworks like the wall painting in the church in order to know more about the living Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
style
in the past. For the music, the lyrics always imply the living Use synonyms
style
Use synonyms
in
that generation. Change preposition
of
For example
, some Canton Pop songs in Linking Words
1980s
let the new generation know lots of Hongkongers in the past Change the article
the 1980s
work
in local Wrong verb form
worked
factory
to produce plastic toys, watches, etc. The relationship between Fix the agreement mistake
factories
arts
and our lives is extremely close, no matter Use synonyms
to
let us know about the past Correct word choice
whether to
iving
Correct your spelling
living
giving
style
or keep the current living to Use synonyms
our
next generation. Change the word
the
Thus
, the Linking Words
government
should continue spending Use synonyms
money
on Use synonyms
arts
development.
Use synonyms
To conclude
, Linking Words
arts
can benefit Use synonyms
people
's mental health and show the living Use synonyms
style
of different generations. It is Use synonyms
precious
Correct article usage
a precious
treasures
of human Fix the agreement mistake
treasure
being
. Fix the agreement mistake
beings
Therefore
, the Linking Words
government
should use Use synonyms
Use synonyms
money
on Add an article
the money
the
Change to a genitive case
the development of the arts
the development of the art
arts
development.Use synonyms
Submitted by asllchkied on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is developed logically. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs should guide the reader smoothly through your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction could more effectively paraphrase the task and clearly state your position. The conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points and reiterate your stance.
task achievement
Support your main points with detailed and specific examples. This helps to illustrate your arguments and provides a richer response to the task.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. Make sure to include a discussion of both views if the question asks for them, and provide a clear opinion.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.