Some people think that government should spend tax payers’ funds on cultural activities such as music or art. Others think this is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some
people
think that government
should spend Correct article usage
the government
tax payers’
Correct your spelling
taxpayers’
funds
on cultural activities
such
as music
or art. Others think this
is a waste of money
. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Every people
in a Fix the agreement mistake
person
country
pays their tax
to the Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
government
and some people
thinks
that Correct subject-verb agreement
think
government
should spend Correct article usage
the government
tax
payers’ Correct your spelling
the
funds
on different activities
such
as Entertaining
Replace the word
Entertainment
activities
( music
) or different things
like art. But most of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
thinks
that it is a waste of Correct subject-verb agreement
think
money
. I would like to discuss both views from
Change preposition
in
this
essay and give my own opinion.
Firstly
, I can say that spending funds
on cultural activities
such
as music
and arts is good
thing Add an article
a good
to
the cultural industry. Governments should spend Change preposition
for
money
on these activities
to develop as a country
. Because younger students and people
will eventually get in to
these cultural Join the words
into
activities
such
as music
and arts.
Not only that, then
this
industry will develop day by day and it is good for people
like traditional musicians, traditional dancers and many more people
who is
related to cultural Change the verb form
are
things
. Spending money
on these activities
mostly give
benefits to school children too. For Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
an
example, nowadays lots of kids Correct article usage
apply
attached
Add a missing verb
are attached
with
lots of studies and Change preposition
to
Internet
too. Because of these Correct article usage
the Internet
things
we can expect a downfall in cultural Add a comma
things,
activities
. So if government
spend Correct article usage
the government
funds
and develop
these Correct subject-verb agreement
develops
things
, then
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
also
will
experience those Verb problem
apply
things
and they will also
used to
Verb problem
be
involve
Wrong verb form
involved
to
these Change preposition
in
activities
.
On the other hand
, some people
thinks
that Spending Change the verb form
think
tax
payers’ funds
on cultural activities
is a waste of money
and they suspects
Correct subject-verb agreement
suspect
to spend
those Change the verb form
spending
funds
which is
related to developing the Change the verb form
are
country
and helping to
Change preposition
apply
people
who need money
. We can see that some countries do not have good public transportation system
in the society. So if Fix the agreement mistake
systems
government
spend those Correct article usage
the government
tax payers’
Correct your spelling
taxpayers’
funds
on these kinds of things
will develop the country
more and also
it will help to
the Change preposition
apply
country
Change noun form
country's
people
too. So it is like killing two birds with a
one stone. Not only that, for Remove the article
apply
an
example, Correct article usage
apply
government
can spend Add an article
the government
those
Change the determiner
that money
money
to
poor students who need Change preposition
on
education
well.
In Correct article usage
an education
conclusion
I can say that governments can spend Add a comma
conclusion,
those
Change the determiner
that money
money
on cultural activities
, but after viewing both sides I can say that my opinion is, spending tax
payers’ money
on education and developing country
is the best thing that Fix the agreement mistake
countries
government
should do.Submitted by shevonsavidhu14 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks coherence as ideas jump from one to the other without clear transitions or logical sequencing. Usage of cohesive devices is also minimal or incorrect.
coherence cohesion
You should focus on paragraphing your essay appropriately. Each paragraph should encompass a single main idea and subsequent sentences should elaborate on that idea.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion should be clearly distinguished from the body paragraphs, each serving its specific role in the essay structure. The introduction should peer into what will be discussed, while the conclusion should offer a definitive stance or summary.
task achievement
Ensure that the response is complete, both views and your own opinion should be clearly discussed providing relevant details.
task achievement
Ideas presented must be comprehensive and clearly articulated, ensuring appropriate development through explanations, examples, or reasons.
task achievement
Employ specific examples to support your points. The examples given should clearly relate to the view being discussed and be detailed enough to add value to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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