Nowadays in many countries people are spending too much on weddings some people think that it is essential to spend a huge amount of money on wedding ceremonies others think that have to be simple and not very grand discuss both views and give your opinion

#countries #people #weddings #amount #money #ceremonies

These days,

people

tend to do grand marriages and spend a huge amount around the globe.

Whereas

some express that spending more

money

is necessary for weddings, others say that

marriage

should be simple and use few currencies.

This

essay discusses both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the latter opinion for the following reasons.

To begin

with, spending a huge

money

is crucial for

marriage

because the wedding is a one-time special moment in all

people

's lives

while

they prefer to do grand weddings and spend more

money

for

Change preposition

show examples

TJ, the wedding hall, dress, decoration, make-up, photograph and food. To be more precise,

this

connects two

people

and they live

Change preposition

for

show examples

a long together so

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

marriage

event day should be

Change the article

apply

show examples

grand and it brings more happiness and

pleasures

Fix the agreement mistake

pleasure

show examples

to the wed-couples.

For example

, Indians spend a huge amount

Change preposition

show examples

wedding ceremonies because they want a memory and pleasure that day in order to they can remember the golden day in the future. Ergo, more

money

is vital for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

wedding events.

In contrast

marriage

should be simple and not spend more

money

because it is a waste of

money

Instead

of having a grand

marriage

people

would buy fixed assets like

house

Correct article usage

a house

show examples

and save

money

to the bank, and

as a result

, it will help in the future indeed.

For instance

, because the western nation's folks prefer to have a simple

marriage

rather than a big one, they have to save

money

for future expenses and buy their own house or car.

In other words

, having a simple and elegant

marriage

also

brings more happiness to the couples and relatives,

therefore

, a simple wedding event is the best.

To conclude

although

numerous currencies

Change the verb form

are

show examples

vital for having a grand

marriage

because

marriage

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

precious and memorable and it happens

Change preposition

show examples

one time, a simple and elegant wedding ceremony can save more

money

and buy fixed assets. In my opinion, about

this

, I strongly agree that

marriage

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

to be simple and elegant because it is a waste of

money

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

a grand

marriage

Submitted by reanudeepan on Wed Jan 10 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure that the introduction establishes a clear position in response to the prompt and previews the main points to be discussed.

Coherence & Cohesion

Improve logical sequencing of ideas and paragraphs with better use of linking words and phrases to enhance coherence.

Coherence & Cohesion

Develop main points more fully with deeper analysis, detailed explanations, and relevant examples to support arguments.

Task Achievement

Ensure that the essay addresses all parts of the task with a clear opinion and relevant arguments for both viewpoints.

Task Achievement

Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to express ideas clearly and precisely, without over-reliance on basic language.

Task Achievement

Provide more relevant, concrete examples to support points made and illustrate arguments effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

348 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays in many countries people are spending too much on weddings some people think that it is essential to spend a huge amount of money on wedding ceremonies others think that have to be simple and not very grand discuss both views and give your opinion

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many believe that the goal of one’s career should be to pursue a passion while others feel it is merely a way to earn a livelihood. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?