IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that news and media have a positive effect on our lives, while others disagree. What is your opinion?

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Introduction
These days technological and informational advances are developing, so it is hard to imagine people's lives without news and communication
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
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.
Hence
Linking Words
, there is an opinion that these services have a positive impact on society, having educational and social purposes. I support
this
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 with
this
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 viewpoint, and
this
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 essay will explain why.
Body · 1
First and foremost, online and printing press educate young and old generation, providing
up to date
Add a hyphen
up-to-date
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 information.
Consequently
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, people are staying informed and updated about current events and actions that
happened
Wrong verb form
are happening
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 in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 world.
Moreover
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, educational channels for children offer a great variety of activities, which help young learners improve their cognitive skills,
such
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 as counting, learning new words to expand vocabulary, exploring and discovering scientific and geographical phenomenon. Take ABC
kids
Capitalize word
Kids
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,
for example
Linking Words
, the service which provides entertaining physical activities,
such
Linking Words
 as yoga and dancing, in order to not just improve mental abilities, but physical too.
Body · 2
Another main factor is the connectivity that online platforms provide.
This
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 makes it easier to interact with your friends and relatives, especially if they are from overserseas.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is not necessary to spend money and time on transportation, as you can communicate with your closed ones via video calls.
For instance
Linking Words
, the most famous social media platform Facebook, allow all the users to participate in chats and even create meetings and events for working purposes.
Conclusion
In conclusion, even though that excessive usage of media and news might have a detrimental effect, there are more advantages of
this
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 activity. The
acess
Correct your spelling
access
 to
communication
Correct article usage
a communication
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 network offers
supply
Fix the infinitive
to supply
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 young and old individuals with a wide range of services and resources, making
the
Change the word
their
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live
Replace the word
lives
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 easier and more comfortable.

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introduction conclusion present
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which is commendable; however, work on developing a more compelling closing argument that reinforces your position on the issue.
supported main points
You have shown an ability to construct paragraphs with main points supported by explanations, yet your examples could be enhanced with more detail to illustrate the points effectively.
complete response
You addressed the task sufficiently by presenting your position and explaining it throughout the essay. Nonetheless, for a higher score, ensure all parts of the prompt are fully developed with comprehensive argumentation.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas in the essay are generally clear, yet they could be articulated with more precision and depth. Aim for a more thorough exploration of the ideas presented.
relevant specific examples
Some of the illustrations used, like ABC kids and Facebook, are relevant. However, bringing in a wider range of examples or more specific scenarios could have strengthened your argument.
logical structure
Your essay maintains a logical structure, but the connections between ideas can be fortified. Using a variety of linking words and clearly delineating your main points will enhance the logical flow.
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