Some people think that news and media have a positive effect on our lives, while others disagree. What is your opinion?
These days technological and informational advances are developing, so it is hard to imagine people's lives without news and communication
network
. Fix the agreement mistake
networks
Hence
, there is an opinion that these services have a positive impact on society, having educational and social purposes. I support this
with this
viewpoint, and this
essay will explain why.
First and foremost, online and printing press educate young and old generation, providing up to date
information. Add a hyphen
up-to-date
Consequently
, people are staying informed and updated about current events and actions that happened
in Wrong verb form
are happening
a
world. Correct article usage
the
Moreover
, educational channels for children offer a great variety of activities, which help young learners improve their cognitive skills, such
as counting, learning new words to expand vocabulary, exploring and discovering scientific and geographical phenomenon. Take ABC kids
, Capitalize word
Kids
for example
, the service which provides entertaining physical activities, such
as yoga and dancing, in order to not just improve mental abilities, but physical too.
Another main factor is the connectivity that online platforms provide. This
makes it easier to interact with your friends and relatives, especially if they are from overserseas. Therefore
, it is not necessary to spend money and time on transportation, as you can communicate with your closed ones via video calls. For instance
, the most famous social media platform Facebook, allow all the users to participate in chats and even create meetings and events for working purposes.
In conclusion, even though that excessive usage of media and news might have a detrimental effect, there are more advantages of this
activity. The acess
to Correct your spelling
access
communication
network offers Correct article usage
a communication
supply
young and old individuals with a wide range of services and resources, making Fix the infinitive
to supply
the
Change the word
their
live
easier and more comfortable.Replace the word
lives
Submitted by innakireeva0101 on
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introduction conclusion present
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which is commendable; however, work on developing a more compelling closing argument that reinforces your position on the issue.
supported main points
You have shown an ability to construct paragraphs with main points supported by explanations, yet your examples could be enhanced with more detail to illustrate the points effectively.
complete response
You addressed the task sufficiently by presenting your position and explaining it throughout the essay. Nonetheless, for a higher score, ensure all parts of the prompt are fully developed with comprehensive argumentation.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas in the essay are generally clear, yet they could be articulated with more precision and depth. Aim for a more thorough exploration of the ideas presented.
relevant specific examples
Some of the illustrations used, like ABC kids and Facebook, are relevant. However, bringing in a wider range of examples or more specific scenarios could have strengthened your argument.
logical structure
Your essay maintains a logical structure, but the connections between ideas can be fortified. Using a variety of linking words and clearly delineating your main points will enhance the logical flow.