Society is becoming obsessed with material goods like fast cars, designer clothes and flashy jewellery. We have stopped caring about the important things and that is why divorce rates are so high and family bonds are not as strong anymore; our valve system is disintegrating. To what extent do you agree and disagree?
Nowadays personal relationships
loose
their Replace the word
lose
impoertance
as people get more attracted towards materialistic things Correct your spelling
importance
such
as racing vehicles, fashionable dresses, and eye-catching ornaments. Even they does
not care about their married lives. In my opinion, I completely agree that the value of families Change the verb form
do
get
replaced by artificial objects because mankind become selfish and greedy Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
and
Correct word choice
apply
due to
lack
of moral education.
The greed for more and more money Correct article usage
a lack
make
Change the verb form
makes
human-being
blind. There is no particular reason to have Correct your spelling
human beings
this
feeling because it is also
a part of human nature which makes them obsessed with expensive and luxurious items. To get such
comforts for survival, a person becomes selfish and forget
the difference between right and wrong. Sometimes one can not feel shame to harm their loved ones. Correct subject-verb agreement
forgets
For example
, some
Change preposition
in some
of
countries Change preposition
apply
such
as India, the
dowry is a major problem where Correct article usage
apply
number
of newly wedded girls Change the article
a number
the number
got
killed by their Wrong verb form
get
in laws
for money.
Add a hyphen
in-laws
The insufficient
knowledge of moral education is Correct article usage
Insufficient
also
the reason for such
devastating issues. However
, most of
people who commit Change preposition
apply
divorces
have Fix the agreement mistake
divorce
the
issues of less understanding, Correct article usage
apply
couple
do not value each other's time and space, and disrespect Fix the agreement mistake
couples
towards
each other. If juveniles Change preposition
apply
taught
to be moralized in terms of love, respect and understanding ability from Add a missing verb
are taught
very
tender age, these matters can be resolved to some extent. The bond distraction between old parents and youngsters could be sorted by giving them enough time in their childhood so that they can learn the value of togetherness. Add an article
a very
For example
, the reporters revealed that almost every second family in US
is living Correct article usage
the US
separated
because the children above 18 do not want to live with their parents.
Replace the word
separately
To conclude
, everyone should understand the differnce
between real and Correct your spelling
difference
reel
connections to get the actual satisfaction. It is not deniable that self-control matters Correct your spelling
real
alot
as every individual is different but Correct your spelling
a lot
sense
of morality in upbringing is necessary.Add an article
the sense
a sense
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coherence cohesion
Make sure the essay has a clear logical structure, with well-organized paragraphs, each addressing a specific argument. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
To score higher in the introduction and conclusion, ensure that they are clearly identifiable and effectively summarize the main points of the essay. The introduction should set the stage for the argument, while the conclusion should wrap up the discussion neatly.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with specific examples and clear explanations to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic. Avoid generalizations and ensure each point contributes meaningfully to the argument.
task achievement
A complete response requires an answer that addresses all parts of the task, including a clear opinion on the extent to which you agree or disagree. Make sure to cover all aspects of the prompt within your essay.
task achievement
Express ideas clearly and ensure they are comprehensive. Focus on the essay's readability by using straightforward language when possible and fully developing each point.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. These examples should be clearly linked to the main points and should be used to provide evidence for your claims.
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