IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Write about your experience when you went to your dream holiday before. Talk about How you get there? What you saw? What you did? Where you stayed? How long you stayed?

#dream #holiday
Last
 year I had a chance to visit my dream destination, Egypt, with
closed
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close
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 friends.
This
 country is a travel spot in my journey wish
lists
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list
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 since there is the Pyramid which is one of the seven wonders of the world. We flew from Bangkok to Cairo
international airport
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International Airport
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 by plane. We arrived in the early morning;
then
, we took a bus directly to tourist spots. We decided to go to the most interesting place, the Great Pyramid of Giza, first. It is a huge architecture in the middle of the
dessert
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desert
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. In the front of the Pyramid, there is
an
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a
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 giant Sphinx which has the top part of the body as a human and the bottom part as a lion. It was a stunning scenery from enormous
architectures
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architecture
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.
Additionally
, it brought me a curious thought
how
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about how
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 the ancient people carried the heavy blocks and built them.
At the end
 of the day, we tried the traditional Egyptian foods in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Cairo city. It was a great experience to try new dishes. The foods were totally different from the Asian foods which I
usually
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am usually
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 familiar with; but, they opened up my new taste buds. At night, we stayed in a small boutique hotel in town so we could roam around the city to see the
night life
Correct your spelling
nightlife
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 there. My friends and I spent time in Egypt for three days and two nights. Even though it was a short trip
but
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apply
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it was one of my excellent and
rememberable
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memorable
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 journeys in my life. I would
recommended
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recommend
be recommended
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 all of
people
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the people
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 I know to visit that place once in a lifetime.
Submitted by sasi.jariyasirikul on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your ideas are sequenced logically, with clear connections between them. Employ a variety of connectors and cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion should clearly establish and summarize the main topic of your essay. Both should be distinct and well-developed.
coherence cohesion
Provide clear, detailed descriptions to develop your main points. Support them with examples or further explanations to increase the depth of your writing.
task achievement
For a higher score, ensure that you address all parts of the task. Develop each point fully to display a thorough understanding of the question.
task achievement
Use a range of structures and vocabulary to elaborate on your ideas thoroughly. This allows for a clearer and more comprehensive explanation of your thoughts.
task achievement
Incorporate specific examples and details to substantiate your narrative. This makes your essay more engaging and provides evidence for your assertions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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