IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Governments should lower arts budgets to allocate more money to education. Do you agree with this view?

#governments #arts #budgets #money #education
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In a
Use synonyms
country
Add a comma
country,
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 government should increase their
money
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 investment in
education
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.
Whereas
Linking Words
 spent less
money
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 on art budgets. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because
,
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apply
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 it increases
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literacy
Correct article usage
the literacy
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 rate and
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
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 more working
opportunities
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
students
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. On the one hand,
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literacy
Correct article usage
the literacy
show examples
 rate should be increased when more
money
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was
Wrong verb form
is
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 invested in
education
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. Because
,
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apply
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 it paves the way to
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
an education
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 system and
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
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 better
education
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 to the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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. The major cause of illiteracy is
Linking Words
due
Correct word choice
apply
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to lack of educational
opportunities
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 and
poor
Correct article usage
a poor
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 educational system. By doing so,
students
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 will show interest and it leads to the development of
literacy
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.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Canadian
Correct article usage
the Canadian
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 government allocate more
money
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on
Change preposition
to
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 educational development
that's
Correct your spelling
that is
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 why Canada
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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 better
education
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 to
students
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in
Change preposition
apply
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compared with other countries.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, investment in
education
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also
Linking Words
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
 working
opportunities
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
students
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. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 system
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
 more skilled
students
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. In a world of high demand for skilled working professionals, they can find a job quite easily. Not only they can afford a job but
also
Linking Words
 can demand a high pay of salary in return.
For example
Linking Words
,
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country
Add an article
a country
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 like Canada looking for highly skilled working professionals for jobs. Only people who
is
Change the verb form
are
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 eligible for
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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opportunities
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 must be
a
Correct article usage
apply
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skilled
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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. In conclusion, in a
country
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 government should plan to allocate more funds to
education
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 rather than art budgets. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it creates more job
opportunities
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 and
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
Use synonyms
literacy
Add an article
the literacy
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 rate of the
country
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.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay should have a clear logical structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Ideas should flow seamlessly from one paragraph to another with the use of cohesive devices and clear topic sentences.
Task Achievement
Your essay should fully address the prompt, providing a clear position throughout and avoid contradictions or irrelevant ideas. Make sure your ideas are extended and supported by specific examples or reasons.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • allocate funds
  • economic growth
  • societal well-being
  • disparities in access
  • quality education
  • equal opportunities
  • erode cultural heritage
  • national identity
  • creative industries
  • contribute significantly to the economy
  • loss of jobs
  • stifle innovation
  • well-rounded society
  • intellectual development
  • cultural development
What to do next:
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