IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Logging of the rain forests is a serious problem and it may lead to the extinction of animal life and human life. Do you agree or disagree?

#rain #forests #extinction #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Manipulative acts by humans have become more prevalent as our lives have altered into a more digitalized and modernized version in the past century. It is my firm conviction that regarding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental issues, one of the major concerns bringing about the destruction of animal and human life is the eradication of natural habitats, which will be discussed
in particular
 below. It is widely acknowledged that the demolishment of the natural environment can impact its inhabitants to many extents. Primarily,
this
 can
arise
Verb problem
cause
show examples
 ruins in the shelters of many living creatures which used to be their protective barriers against the poachers, making them desperately search for new replacements.
Secondly
, agricultural lands will suffer by
this
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
 leading to gross deprivation in the
food
 stock of the population under cover.
For instance
, massive delapidations in the Amazon forests brought up years of starvation for the resident villagers and
extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
show examples
 of rare species. As a matter of fact, certain species can merely tolerate
to live
Change the verb form
living
show examples
 in specific environmental conditions. To illustrate, desert creatures are bound to resist
such
 extreme
circumstance
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
show examples
whereas
 tropical animals will simply die in those areas.
Additionally
, it is noteworthy to mention the disbalance in the climate when immense forests are manipulated and ruined. From a geographical perspective, if trees which are an integrated part of the
food
 supply for the animals are cut down, they will not survive the hunger and pass out.
Subsequently
, the
food
 chain and living cycle will be influenced and even the healthy soil and weather will be altered, resulting in global warming.
This
 is chiefly how the disruption in the plant and animal life cycle can gravely affect human life leaving detrimental effects for their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
. Pollution and lack of resources are other upcoming dire consequences of invasive forest
loggings
Fix the agreement mistake
logging
show examples
. In a
nutchell
Correct your spelling
nutshell
, I entirely agree that species have been endangered
due to
logging
Correct article usage
the logging
show examples
 of nature by destroying their shelter,
food
 supply, and habitat. It is inevitable that
this
 can be an alerting issue for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future generations of animals and humans,
thus
 necessitating immediate evaluation and management.
Submitted by shery.1375.sh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to clearly address the question prompt and give your opinion in the introduction for a stronger stance.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and topic-specific vocabulary for higher marks in coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Include more concrete examples to support your main points; this lends credibility to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the conclusion summarises the main points of your argument and restates your position clearly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • deforestation
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • carbon sink
  • global warming
  • indigenous tribes
  • livelihood
  • displacement
  • cultural erosion
  • soil erosion
  • water cycle
  • humidity levels
  • rainfall patterns
  • droughts
  • ecosystem services
  • pollination
  • climate change
  • logging
  • rain forests
  • habitats
What to do next:
Look at other essays: