IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Fast food is becoming a part of people's daily life everwhere, and this has had negative effects on our lifestyle and diet. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is clear that
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,
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apply
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 fast foods are consumed by
people
Use synonyms
 in
the
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apply
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every corner of the world and it has bad impacts on our daily life
as well as
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diet
Correct pronoun usage
our diet
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.
This
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 essay agrees that outsider foods are dangerous for us.
Firstly
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, it makes us fat and
secondly
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, we turn into unsocial and alone. Taking excessive fast foods
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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people
Use synonyms
 obese. Nowadays we are highly
dependened
Correct your spelling
dependent
 on street
food
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. But we are not aware
about
Change the preposition
of
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it's
Replace the word
its
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 side effects.
This
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 type of
food
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 contains too much fat
contents
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content
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 and other ingredients
such
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 as
,
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apply
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 sugar and sodium. These two ingredients are dangerous for our
health
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. It destroys our body shape.
For example
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, in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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, most
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
 order
restaurants
Change the noun form
restaurant
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food
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by
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apply
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online and
then
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 consume
with
Correct pronoun usage
it with
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 their family.
As a
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result
Add a comma
result,
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 obesity
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
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 are increasing day by day in the United States. High consumption of street
food
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 makes our life
introvert
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introverted
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 and unsocial. The consumption rate of
restaurants
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restaurant
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food
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 increasing rapidly.
Therefore
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people
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 are affected by various diseases and
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health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
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 problems
such
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 as heart disease and cancer. Because having too much sugary and oily
food
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 attracts various
virus
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viruses
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 and bacteria, which carry diseases.
People
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 , who
affected
Add a missing verb
are affected
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 by certain types of
health
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 problems, often hide
themselves
Remove the pronoun
apply
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from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. They can not easily enjoy their natural lifestyle.
Eventually
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Eventually,
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 society
neglets
Correct your spelling
negates
 them from for
the
Change the word
their
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health
Use synonyms
 conditions.
Such
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 behaviours from neighbours discourage them
to
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from
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 contact with the world.
For instance
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, a survey
took
Correct pronoun usage
that took
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 place in India in 2020 showed that
,
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apply
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about
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apply
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about 83% under 18 years old failed to make new friends because of their
health
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 issues.
To conclude
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, too much sugary and oily
food
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 called fast
food
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 contributes
in
Change preposition
to
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 obesity problems and
turn
Correct subject-verb agreement
turns
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people
Use synonyms
 into unsocial and alone.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure, with coherent paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea. Transitions between paragraphs should be smooth, and the overall argument should progress logically from introduction to conclusion. Avoid disjointed thoughts or unrelated ideas within paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are present and match the content of your essay. They should effectively frame your argument, with the introduction clearly stating your position and the conclusion successfully summarizing and reinforcing it. Refrain from introducing new points in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with clear examples and explanations. Each paragraph should center on a single main idea, with supporting sentences that elaborate on or illustrate that point. Avoid vague statements or unsupported claims.
task achievement
To fully meet the task, ensure that you address all parts of the prompt comprehensively. Your response should clearly indicate whether you agree or disagree with the statement, and it should outline your reasons with clear and developed ideas, avoiding repetition or irrelevant content.
task achievement
Provide a clear and comprehensive overview of your ideas related to the prompt. Make sure your argument is fully developed and that each paragraph contributes to the understanding of your position. Avoid shallow or superficial treatment of the subject matter.
task achievement
Use specific examples to substantiate your arguments. The examples should be relevant, persuasive, and connected to the main ideas of your essay. Including facts, figures, or studies can greatly enhance the strength of your position.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Ubiquitous
  • Convenience
  • Nutrition
  • Obesity epidemic
  • Lifestyle diseases
  • Processed foods
  • Caloric intake
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Health implications
  • Dietary patterns
  • Globalization of diet
  • Health-conscious
  • Regulatory measures
  • Consumer behavior
  • Marketing strategies
  • Junk food
  • Preventive healthcare
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