Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
There has been much discussion revolving around the issue of whether it is negative or positive that nations are becoming more similar
due to
the same products
bought in these countries. Personally, I firmly believe that it can be a positive trend because not only does it help people
live more comfortably but also
it can save our
Change the word
the
money
and time I would spend in order to buy them.
To start with, purchasing a trendy and latest version of products
, such
as smart devices and vehicles, in the local areas can be a golden opportunity to feel more convinience
and fascinated. Correct your spelling
convenience
In other words
, if chances of buying products
we want were possible everywhere, individuals would be satisfied Correct article usage
the products
live
more easily. To give a Correct word choice
and live
simle
example, after Apple company introduced its latest version of Correct your spelling
simple
Correct article usage
the iphone
iphone
, most Correct your spelling
iPhone
people
can
buy it in the local markets without going abroad.
Wrong verb form
could
Furthermore
, Correct article usage
the possibilities
possibilities
of buying trendy Fix the agreement mistake
possibility
products
can play a key role to save
Change preposition
in saving
our
time and Correct pronoun usage
us
money
. It is apparent that provided that these products
were only purchased in a certain country, people
would pay extra money
to order or go in order to buy it
. Correct pronoun usage
them
Moreover
, it would take long
time to possess these items. Change the article
a long
For example
, 5 years ago, I paid almost two times more money
to buy a new IPhone
because those days there were not any Fix capitalization
iPhone
distributer
to buy Apple company's Fix the agreement mistake
distributers
products
.
However
, some people
believe that this
trend has an adverse impact on the traditional culture and identity because local products
and businesses would be disappeared
. If we can see Wrong verb form
disappear
a
bright side, it can help local companies more competitive and stronger compared with Correct article usage
the
in
the past. The more global Change preposition
apply
products
are available, the better quality of local products
improves.
In conclusion, even though buying the same products
anywhere people
live is an argumentative issue, it can be a beneficial development owing to time-efficient and cost-efficient chances. I strongly believe that its merits can outweigh the drawbacks.Submitted by zayashdee on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure to maintain a clear logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. While the logical structure is mostly clear, there can be improvements in the transitions and connections between paragraphs to enhance the overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
It is good that an introduction and conclusion are present; however, refine these sections to ensure that they clearly state the topic and summarize the main points more concisely, contributing to better task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with a balanced range of examples. While some examples were provided, aim to include a variety of relevant, specific examples that support all the points discussed.
task achievement
Ensure you are fully responding to all parts of the task prompt. While there is a response, there is room for a more nuanced exploration of the topic, considering both the positive and negative aspects in equal measure for a balanced argument.
task achievement
Focus on expressing ideas clearly and comprehensively. Aim to explain your points in greater depth, showing a thorough understanding of the topic. Providing further elaboration can enhance task achievement.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific and relevant examples to support your claims. This will add authenticity to your essay and demonstrate a better grasp of the subject matter, leading to higher scores in task achievement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.