Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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There has been much discussion revolving around the issue of whether it is negative or positive that nations are becoming more similar
due to
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the same
products
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bought in these countries. Personally, I firmly believe that it can be a positive trend because not only does it help
people
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live more comfortably but
also
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it can save
our
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the
show examples
money
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and time I would spend in order to buy them. To start with, purchasing a trendy and latest version of
products
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,
such
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as smart devices and vehicles, in the local areas can be a golden opportunity to feel more
convinience
Correct your spelling
convenience
and fascinated.
In other words
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, if chances of buying
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products
Correct article usage
the products
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we want were possible everywhere, individuals would be satisfied
live
Correct word choice
and live
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more easily. To give a
simle
Correct your spelling
simple
example, after Apple company introduced its latest version of
Correct article usage
the iphone
show examples
iphone
Correct your spelling
iPhone
, most
people
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can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
buy it in the local markets without going abroad.
Furthermore
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,
Correct article usage
the possibilities
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possibilities
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possibility
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of buying trendy
products
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can play a key role
to save
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in saving
show examples
our
Correct pronoun usage
us
show examples
time and
money
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. It is apparent that provided that these
products
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were only purchased in a certain country,
people
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would pay extra
money
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to order or go in order to buy
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Moreover
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, it would take
long
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a long
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time to possess these items.
For example
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, 5 years ago, I paid almost two times more
money
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to buy a new
IPhone
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iPhone
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because those days there were not any
distributer
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distributers
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to buy Apple company's
products
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.
However
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, some
people
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believe that
this
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trend has an adverse impact on the traditional culture and identity because local
products
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and businesses would
be disappeared
Wrong verb form
disappear
show examples
. If we can see
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
bright side, it can help local companies more competitive and stronger compared with
in
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apply
show examples
the past. The more global
products
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are available, the better quality of local
products
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improves. In conclusion, even though buying the same
products
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anywhere
people
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live is an argumentative issue, it can be a beneficial development owing to time-efficient and cost-efficient chances. I strongly believe that its merits can outweigh the drawbacks.
Submitted by zayashdee on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
It is good that an introduction and conclusion are present; however, refine these sections to ensure that they clearly state the topic and summarize the main points more concisely, contributing to better task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with a balanced range of examples. While some examples were provided, aim to include a variety of relevant, specific examples that support all the points discussed.
task achievement
Ensure you are fully responding to all parts of the task prompt. While there is a response, there is room for a more nuanced exploration of the topic, considering both the positive and negative aspects in equal measure for a balanced argument.
task achievement
Focus on expressing ideas clearly and comprehensively. Aim to explain your points in greater depth, showing a thorough understanding of the topic. Providing further elaboration can enhance task achievement.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific and relevant examples to support your claims. This will add authenticity to your essay and demonstrate a better grasp of the subject matter, leading to higher scores in task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
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