In today's world many people own a smartphone Do you think advantages of owning a smartphone outweight the disadvantages
Nowadays, almost
people
in over the world Correct determiner usage
all people
had
owned mobile Wrong verb form
have
phone
for theirself. Fix the agreement mistake
phones
This
author agrued
that Correct your spelling
argued
argues
people
can receive many useful for their work and convenient for their life
. So it level up the living Fix the agreement mistake
lives
outweight
the disadvantages.
The most advantageous factor of mobile Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighs
phone
is that Fix the agreement mistake
phones
it
can help Correct pronoun usage
they
people
conveniently contact with
everybody they want. Change preposition
apply
For example
, people
can keep in touch with their friends easily if their friends go aboard
or live far away to meet each other. So they can use Rephrase
abroad
smartphone
to call video or chat most of Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
time
.
The other benefit Add an article
the time
smartphone
brings to users is easy
Correct your spelling
ease
to do
shopping online. Verb problem
of
In other words
, people
can buy in
many apps with the big numbers of things without Change preposition
apply
go
to Change the verb form
going
supermarket
or shop. Correct article usage
the supermarket
Additionally
, you can read many
Correct word choice
apply
feedbacks
Fix the agreement mistake
feedback
of
previous customers. Change preposition
from
For instance
, when people
buy something,they only need to take the phone
and rate it from many feedbacks, then
they can click to buy easily.
In contrast
, smartphone
has a big negative effect on Add an article
the smartphone
children
because they give off blue light which is very bad for children
eye's
and adults too. Change the noun form
eyes
eye
Smartphone
make Fix the agreement mistake
Smartphones
children
's brains become stupid children
because mobile phone
have lots of videos by adults but it is not suitable Fix the agreement mistake
phones
so
Correct word choice
for
children
can learn. So we won't give your smartphone
to children
to watch.
In conclusion, smartphones are very helpful for people
's live
and it has lots of benefits to help Replace the word
lives
people
live more conveniently. In my opinion, smartphone
is the best thing humans have invented.Add an article
the smartphone
a smartphone
Submitted by zky1705202 on
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your introduction includes a clear thesis statement that addresses the topic and the essay clearly delineates advantages versus disadvantages.
logical structure
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smoothly executed. Avoid abrupt or tangential shifts in topic.
supported main points
Your main points need to be expanded with more detailed and varied examples. Aim to provide specific scenarios, data, or anecdotes that illustrate your points more vividly.
complete response
While you have covered certain advantages and a disadvantage of smartphone usage in your response, be sure to provide a balanced view by elaborating on both sides of the argument to completely address the prompt.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive to present your ideas more comprehensively. Avoid overly general statements by incorporating more detailed information into your analysis of the advantages and disadvantages.
relevant specific examples
Your essay could benefit from the inclusion of more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. Aim to provide concrete illustrations rather than general statements.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.