In today's world many people own a smartphone Do you think advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages
Nowadays, almost all
people
in over the world have their owned
mobile phones for theirself. Replace the word
own
This
author agued
that Correct your spelling
argued
people
can receive many useful for their work and convenient for their lives. So it level up the living outweigh the disadvantages.
The most advantageous factor of mobile phones is that they can help people
conveniently contact with
everybody they want. Change preposition
apply
For example
, people
can keep in touch with their friends easily if their friends go abroad or live far away to meet each other. So they can use smartphones to call video or chat most of time
.
The other benefit Add an article
the time
smartphone
brings to users is easy
Correct your spelling
ease
to do
shopping online. Verb problem
of
In other words
, people
can buy in many apps with the big numbers of things without going to the supermarket or shop. Additionally
, you can read many
feedback Correct word choice
apply
of
previous customers. Change preposition
from
For instance
, when people
buy something,they only need to take the phone and rate it from many feedbacks, then
they can click to buy easily.
In contrast
, the
Correct article usage
apply
smartphone
has a big negative effect on children
because they give off blue light which is very bad for children
eyes and adults too. Smartphones make Change noun form
children's
children
's brains become stupid children
because mobile phones have lots of videos by adults but it is not suitable so
Correct word choice
for
children
can learn. So we won't give your smartphone
to children
to watch.
In conclusion, smartphones are very helpful for people
's lives and it has lots of benefits to help people
live more conveniently. In my opinion, the smartphone
is the best thing humans have invented.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
To improve your logical structure, ensure that your essay has a clear progression of ideas from the introduction through to the conclusion. Each paragraph should have a main idea supported by relevant examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
It is crucial that you present both an introduction and a conclusion. The introduction should clearly state the topic and your thesis, while the conclusion should summarize your arguments and reiterate your position. Ensure both are well-developed and clearly indicate the focus of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with clear, specific examples. Your arguments need to be fleshed out with evidence that is relevant to the topic. Aim to elaborate your ideas further and avoid general statements that do not add substance to your argument.
task achievement
For a complete response, fully address all parts of the task. Make sure you have paragraphs that reflect on both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic at hand. Your essay should show a balance and thorough consideration of the prompt.
task achievement
Your ideas should be clearly expressed and comprehensively developed. Avoid vague statements and ensure that your thoughts are articulated in a manner that is easy to understand. Adding more depth and detail to your points will make your essay more compelling.
task achievement
Refer to the task and use examples that are directly relevant to the advantages and disadvantages of owning a smartphone. Ensure that your examples are specific and directly support the main idea of each paragraph. Avoid tangential information that does not directly contribute to the task.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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