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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

This graph shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparisons where relevant.

This graph shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparisons where relevant.
#proportion #four #materials #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph illustrates data about the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of four various materials like
paper
Use synonyms
 &
Correct word choice
and cardboards
show examples
cardboards
Fix the agreement mistake
cardboard
show examples
, glass containers, aluminium cans and plastics
were
Correct pronoun usage
that were
show examples
 recycled over the
period
Use synonyms
 between 1982 and 2010 in a particular country.
Overall
Linking Words
, the graph clearly reveals that
recycled
Correct article usage
the recycled
show examples
proportion
Use synonyms
 of two materials which were
paper
Use synonyms
paper
Use synonyms
 &
cardboards
Fix the agreement mistake
cardboard
show examples
 and glass containers had gradually increased over the
period
Use synonyms
 of
years
Use synonyms
 with Little fluctuations.
Likewise
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of aluminium cans had increased rapidly.
Whereas
Linking Words
, plastics
remains
Correct subject-verb agreement
remain
show examples
 constant.
Recycled
Correct article usage
The recycled
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 of two different materials which were
paper
Use synonyms
 &
cardboards
Fix the agreement mistake
cardboard
show examples
 and glass containers
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased gradually with just above 60 to 70
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 and 50 to 60
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 each respectively over the
period
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 1982 to 2010.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
recycled
Add an article
the recycled
show examples
proportion
Use synonyms
 of aluminium cans had
raised
Verb problem
risen
show examples
 rapidly with just below 10 to above 40
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 over the
period
Use synonyms
 of
years
Use synonyms
 1985 to 2010.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
recycled
Add an article
the recycled
show examples
proportion
Use synonyms
 of plastics remained constant over the span of
years
Use synonyms
 1989 to 2010.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, paper, period, proportion, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • recycled
  • materials
  • increased
  • paper and cardboard
  • plastic
  • glass
  • metal
  • significant increase
  • relatively stable
  • fluctuating
  • period
  • starting
  • reaching
  • gradually increasing
  • remained low
  • experienced
  • showed
  • greatest
  • proportion
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