IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

This graph shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparisons where relevant.

This graph shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparisons where relevant.
#proportion #four #materials #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The line graph illustrates data about the
percentage
 of four various materials like
paper
 &
Correct word choice
and cardboards
show examples
cardboards
Fix the agreement mistake
cardboard
show examples
, glass containers, aluminium cans and plastics
were
Correct pronoun usage
that were
show examples
 recycled over the
period
 between 1982 and 2010 in a particular country.
Overall
, the graph clearly reveals that
recycled
Correct article usage
the recycled
show examples
proportion
 of two materials which were
paper
paper
 &
cardboards
Fix the agreement mistake
cardboard
show examples
 and glass containers had gradually increased over the
period
 of
years
 with Little fluctuations.
Likewise
,
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of aluminium cans had increased rapidly.
Whereas
, plastics
remains
Correct subject-verb agreement
remain
show examples
 constant.
Recycled
Correct article usage
The recycled
show examples
percentage
 of two different materials which were
paper
 &
cardboards
Fix the agreement mistake
cardboard
show examples
 and glass containers
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased gradually with just above 60 to 70
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 and 50 to 60
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 each respectively over the
period
 of
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 1982 to 2010.
Furthermore
,
recycled
Add an article
the recycled
show examples
proportion
 of aluminium cans had
raised
Verb problem
risen
show examples
 rapidly with just below 10 to above 40
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 over the
period
 of
years
 1985 to 2010.
Whereas
,
recycled
Add an article
the recycled
show examples
proportion
 of plastics remained constant over the span of
years
 1989 to 2010.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, paper, period, proportion, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
▼

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • recycled
  • materials
  • increased
  • paper and cardboard
  • plastic
  • glass
  • metal
  • significant increase
  • relatively stable
  • fluctuating
  • period
  • starting
  • reaching
  • gradually increasing
  • remained low
  • experienced
  • showed
  • greatest
  • proportion
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