IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

With the rise of E-books comes the decline in paper books.Some people see this as a good steps forward while others do not.What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

#rise #e-books #decline #paper #books #people #steps #trend
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
E-
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 or electronic
books
Use synonyms
 are
Use synonyms
form
Change the noun form
forms
show examples
 of
books
Use synonyms
 that can be read on digital
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
show examples
. The
trend
Use synonyms
 of
E-
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 makes
paper
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 diminish. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss about good points and bad points of
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
. First of all,
E-
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 are computer files. You can store them
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 your tablet or your mobile phone as
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
 as you like and carry them with you.
Hence
Linking Words
, it's more convenient for you to carry
E-
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 than
paper
Use synonyms
 ones.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, most
books
Use synonyms
 are available in online
stores
Use synonyms
 in the
form
Use synonyms
 of
E-
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
. So, you don't have to go to a
Use synonyms
book store
Correct your spelling
bookstore
show examples
 to look for the
book
Use synonyms
 you want. Just search
it
Change preposition
for it
show examples
 online and after you
purchase
Correct pronoun usage
purchase it
show examples
, you can read it right away. It is
also
Linking Words
 easy to keep
E-
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
. Every online
Use synonyms
stores
Change to a singular noun
store
show examples
record
Correct subject-verb agreement
records
show examples
 what you have purchased. Even if you lose your device or change it, you can still access your purchased
E-
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 in an online store.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 The convenience of
E-
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 may encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to read more.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
increase
Correct article usage
the increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 reading
E-
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 makes
demand
Add an article
a demand
the demand
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
paper
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 decline.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
book
Use synonyms
stores
Use synonyms
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
publishers.
Use synonyms
Book
Correct your spelling
Bookstores
show examples
stores
Use synonyms
 will have
less customer
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer customers
show examples
 because everyone can buy
E-
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 at home. They might need to offer a promotion or discount price to customers to attract them. Publishers have to adapt to
this
Linking Words
 new situation. They should release more
books
Use synonyms
 in electronic
form
Use synonyms
 than in
paper
Use synonyms
form
Use synonyms
. And
people
Use synonyms
 who love the feeling of a
paper
Use synonyms
 more than an electronic screen will
also
Linking Words
 be upset with
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
. Because
paper
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 will be scarce, and they
can't
Correct your spelling
won't
 find the
Use synonyms
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 they want at
Use synonyms
book
Correct your spelling
bookstores
show examples
stores
Use synonyms
 anymore. In conclusion, the
trend
Use synonyms
 of
E-
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 brings both advantages and
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
. Despite the fact that its convenience makes
people
Use synonyms
 read more
Use synonyms
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
, many
Use synonyms
book
Correct your spelling
bookstores
show examples
stores
Use synonyms
 lose their
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
 because of
decreasing
Correct article usage
the decreasing
show examples
 desire for
paper
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
. Some
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
 might have to be closed down.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
paper
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 will
also
Linking Words
 be harder to find for those who prefer
paper
Use synonyms
 ones.
Submitted by Ze.Nin3.R0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Your introduction provides an appropriate overview of the topic, but it could include a more precise thesis statement outlining the advantages and disadvantages you plan to discuss. This would better prepare the reader for the structure of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
In terms of coherence, your essay follows a basic structure with separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages. However, the transitions between paragraphs and sentences could be smoother. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively.
Task Achievement
You have provided some support for your main points, but the essay would benefit from more detailed and specific examples. Consider drawing on real-world scenarios, statistics, or studies to demonstrate the advantages and disadvantages of E-books more concretely.
Task Achievement
Make sure your conclusion summarises the main points of the essay and reflects back on the thesis. Instead of introducing new information, use the conclusion to restate the significance of what has been discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on developing the logical flow of your essay by enhancing the connections between your points. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that is expanded upon with supporting sentences.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: