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Band 4.5

With the rise of E-books comes the decline in paper books.Some people see this as a good steps forward while others do not.What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

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E-
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books
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 or electronic
books
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 are
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form
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forms
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 of
books
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 that can be read on digital
device
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devices
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. The
trend
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 of
E-
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books
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 makes
paper
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books
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 diminish. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss about good points and bad points of
this
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trend
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. First of all,
E-
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books
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 are computer files. You can store them
in
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on
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 your tablet or your mobile phone as
many
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much
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 as you like and carry them with you.
Hence
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, it's more convenient for you to carry
E-
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books
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 than
paper
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 ones.
Furthermore
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, most
books
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 are available in online
stores
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 in the
form
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 of
E-
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books
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. So, you don't have to go to a
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book store
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bookstore
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 to look for the
book
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 you want. Just search
it
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for it
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 online and after you
purchase
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purchase it
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, you can read it right away. It is
also
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 easy to keep
E-
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books
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. Every online
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stores
Change to a singular noun
store
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record
Correct subject-verb agreement
records
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 what you have purchased. Even if you lose your device or change it, you can still access your purchased
E-
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books
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 in an online store.
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Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 The convenience of
E-
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books
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 may encourage
people
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 to read more.
On the contrary
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,
increase
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the increase
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of
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in
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people
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 reading
E-
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books
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 makes
demand
Add an article
a demand
the demand
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of
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for
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paper
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books
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 decline.
Therefore
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,
this
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affect
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affects
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book
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stores
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 and
the
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apply
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publishers.
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Book
Correct your spelling
Bookstores
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stores
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 will have
less customer
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fewer customers
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 because everyone can buy
E-
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books
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 at home. They might need to offer a promotion or discount price to customers to attract them. Publishers have to adapt to
this
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 new situation. They should release more
books
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 in electronic
form
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 than in
paper
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form
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. And
people
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 who love the feeling of a
paper
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 more than an electronic screen will
also
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 be upset with
this
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trend
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. Because
paper
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books
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 will be scarce, and they
can't
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won't
 find the
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book
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books
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 they want at
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book
Correct your spelling
bookstores
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stores
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 anymore. In conclusion, the
trend
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 of
E-
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books
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 brings both advantages and
disadvantage
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disadvantages
show examples
. Despite the fact that its convenience makes
people
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 read more
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book
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books
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, many
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book
Correct your spelling
bookstores
show examples
stores
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 lose their
customer
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customers
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 because of
decreasing
Correct article usage
the decreasing
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 desire for
paper
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books
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. Some
shop
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shops
show examples
 might have to be closed down.
For
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this
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 reason,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
paper
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books
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 will
also
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 be harder to find for those who prefer
paper
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 ones.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction provides an appropriate overview of the topic, but it could include a more precise thesis statement outlining the advantages and disadvantages you plan to discuss. This would better prepare the reader for the structure of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
In terms of coherence, your essay follows a basic structure with separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages. However, the transitions between paragraphs and sentences could be smoother. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively.
Task Achievement
You have provided some support for your main points, but the essay would benefit from more detailed and specific examples. Consider drawing on real-world scenarios, statistics, or studies to demonstrate the advantages and disadvantages of E-books more concretely.
Task Achievement
Make sure your conclusion summarises the main points of the essay and reflects back on the thesis. Instead of introducing new information, use the conclusion to restate the significance of what has been discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on developing the logical flow of your essay by enhancing the connections between your points. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that is expanded upon with supporting sentences.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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