It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

To try doing something risky is equal to stepping out of the comfort zone, and it is believed to be necessary to do so in our personal and professional lives. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will

further

Linking Words

explain why the benefits overshadow the potential drawbacks. In today’s era where society cares a lot about the necessity of well-being, stepping out of the comfort zone may seem to be a burden for some people.

This

Linking Words

is because it requires much effort and courage,

otherwise

Linking Words

it will badly affect your mental health. Take a sample of a student who tries to study abroad for the first time with just a minimal experience of living alone, surely in the beginning of the period they must feel stressed or get homesick and without proper self-control it may lead to severe conditions. Having said that, doing something unfamiliar

also

Linking Words

brings us to understand deeper about ourselves. If we only live in our little bubble and never try to broaden our horizons, we will never know to what extent our limit is. As for myself, once I entered university, I directly signed up

many

Change preposition

for many

show examples

organizations and projects just to see in which field I

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

actually interested

Change preposition

apply

show examples

and

hopefully

Add a comma

hopefully,

show examples

I was

Change preposition

show examples

the right path

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

know

Correct your spelling

now

show examples

I am fully focusing

myself

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

on pursuing

career

Add an article

a career

show examples

in the field of international business.

Moreover

Linking Words

, I

also

Linking Words

developed new perspectives along the way as I was in

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

multiple roles that allowed me to thrive within different obstacles.

Thus

Linking Words

, other than helping to see yourself better, there are

also

Linking Words

opportunities to learn new things from tackling issues.

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

trying to take risks sounds scary and has a chance to break well-being,

yet

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

I strongly believe that the advantages and opportunities offered seem to outweigh the upcoming challenges which have no guarantee to happen.

Thereafter

Linking Words

, use your time wisely and try to consider every opportunity that

come

Change the verb form

comes

show examples

your way because it will not come twice.

pink pantherWed Jan 10 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

To enhance the logical structure of the essay, make sure each paragraph clearly links to the next, with explicit connecting phrases that guide the reader through your argument. This will help your essay flow more naturally from point to point.

coherence cohesion

While the introduction and conclusion are present, they can be made stronger. The introduction could more directly address the specifics of the prompt, and the conclusion could more decisively state your position. Aim for more clarity and emphasis on your thesis in these sections.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are supported, but to improve them, consider developing each idea more fully with additional examples or evidence. Adding more depth and detail to each point will make your argument more persuasive and impactful.

task achievement

Your response is complete, but occasionally the relevance of your supporting details to the question's prompt could be made clearer. Make sure each paragraph directly contributes to the argument you are making about the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks.

task achievement

You have articulated a clear and comprehensive central idea, but to enhance it, provide more detailed analysis and discussion. Refine your thoughts to go beyond stating what the benefits and drawbacks are by analyzing the implications or reasons behind them.

task achievement

Include more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. Personal anecdotes are strong, but also consider including a broader range of examples or hypothetical scenarios to illustrate your points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

327 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making traditions aimed at tourists. Others, however, believe that it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, travelling has been the most popular thing everyone enjoys doing in their leisure time. They love exploring new places, experiencing different cultures, and seeking adventures. In order to meet the traveller's demands, many cultural traditions are modified for commercialization. Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making traditions aimed at tourists. Others, however, believe that it is the only way to save these traditions. In my opinion, both views are true to a certain extent.
8.5
band
You recently visited a foreign country and gost some information at the Tourist Information Centre. The information given to you was wrong. Write a letter to the centre manager and explain: - what was the information required - how was the wrong information provided? - what problem did you have because of this?
I am writing this email to report a complaint regarding the data I received from the Tourist Information Centre, Delhi.
8.5
band
You are watching television and saw a program being shown early in the morning that contained a lot of violence. You believe the program is unsuitable for that time of day. Write a letter to the manager of the television station. In your letter :- Give reason for writing. Explain what you think the problem is with the program. Say what you would like the station manager to do.
I am writing to advise you that the crime TV dramas which are broadcast on your channel in the morning should be shown at some other time of the day. Morning is the new beginning of the day and the human mind is fresh and at peace. Therefore, it is an inappropriate time for these types of TV shows.
6
band
Some employers believe that job applicants’ social skills are more important than their academic qualifications. To what extent do you agree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In recent times, it is popularly noticed that social skills are becoming very valuable. In some industries, the recruiters feel that the interpersonal competencies of most job seekers have more value than their academic qualifications. I moderately agree with this opinion. This essay will discuss reasons for my point of view.
6.5
band
Thanks to development of science and technology, the lifestyle have become more and more similar across the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
There is no denying the fact that technology has been a significant part of many countries. While it is a commonly held belief that technology can be useful and provide a positive outcome, there is also an argument that it could have a lot of drawbacks. This essay will analyse this topic from both points of view and express my opinion.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making traditions aimed at tourists. Others, however, believe that it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some employers believe that job applicants’ social skills are more important than their academic qualifications. To what extent do you agree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Thanks to development of science and technology, the lifestyle have become more and more similar across the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?