IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that children should be taught at school how to become good parents. Other thinks it is not a good idea Do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #school #parents #idea
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Nowadays, teaching pupils parental
skills
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 is claimed to be imperative,
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however
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however,
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 some individuals are of the opinion that it is not up to the schools.
Although
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 both states are respectful,
i
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I
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 personally find the first one more reasonable. It is alleged that children ought to learn
parenatal
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parental
prenatal
skills
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at
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in
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school
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 classes. There may be several reasons for
this
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 state;
Firstly
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, the sooner the children learn about something, the better they will be at it in
future
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. Just consider thousands of
kids
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, who are taught mathematics at early ages and as they grow they will become more
expert
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experts
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 in it.
Therefore
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 teaching parental attributes to
kids
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 not only will make them better parents in
future
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, but
also
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 they will learn to cultivate good humans for society.
Secondly
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, schools are the most
appopriate
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appropriate
 place to train
kids
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.
Therefore
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 it is
such
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 an effective method to teach these
skills
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 to pupils by expert teachers and
prepere
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prepare
 them for a better
future
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. Only at
school
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 and educational places
kids
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 are able to accept and understand these lessons.
On the other hand
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, Some people assert that it is not essential to teach little children parental
skills
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. They claim that these
kids
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 are too young to know about parenthood and teaching
these kinds
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this kind
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 of information is out of
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school's
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the school's
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responsibilities
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responsibility
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.
This
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 is largely because pupils are already quite busy with learning science and other subjects so they do not have extra time to learn any other thing.
Instead
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 of learning how to become a good parent at
school
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, they must get trained at home by their own parents. In conclusion,
Although
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 some
indivduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 consider learning parental
featers
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features
feathers
 at
school
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 unnecessary, there are many benefits
for
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to
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this
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 action that can completely change
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kids
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kids'
kid's
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 behaviour as a
future
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parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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. I personally agree with the first idea.
Submitted by Arman on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure, with distinct paragraphs containing a single main idea supported by specific examples or explanations. Aim to transition smoothly from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
In your introduction and conclusion, clearly state your position on the topic and summarise your main points without introducing new information in the conclusion. Both sections should be present and convey your stance effectively.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points by providing more detailed and relevant examples. This adds depth to your argument and demonstrates a better understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully responds to all parts of the task prompt. Present a clear argument and address the reasons for your agreement or disagreement, discussing both views if the prompt requires.
task achievement
Strive to present your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Avoid overly complex sentence structures that may obscure the meaning, and make sure your ideas are developed fully and coherently.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant, specific examples to back up your points, which demonstrate your understanding of the topic and further support your argument. Lack of specificity can undermine the strength of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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