IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many students find it difficult to focus or pay attention at school nowadays. What are the reasons for this?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is a common issue that
students
Use synonyms
focus
Use synonyms
 is getting less to
studies
Use synonyms
 at school. A large number of
students
Use synonyms
 hard to pay attention to
Use synonyms
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
 at present.
Technology
Use synonyms
 and
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
education
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 are the main causes
behind
Change preposition
of
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 problems.
This
Linking Words
 essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are two major reasons to pupils do not
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
focus
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
studies
Use synonyms
 at educational
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
show examples
. One of the main
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
show examples
 is
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
,
students
Use synonyms
 are addicted to using
technology
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 they get more and more entertainment access rather than
education
Use synonyms
 so
that
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 do not
give
Verb problem
pay
show examples
 attention to their
education
Use synonyms
. To clarify, many OTT platforms and social media attract more than
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
system
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
, they have more interest
to use
Change preposition
in using
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
-based
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
activities.
For example
Linking Words
, Netflix and Amazon
are released
Change the verb form
have released
show examples
 new series and movies every Friday in order to
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
target weekends, so
students
Use synonyms
 like
watch
Fix the infinitive
to watch
show examples
continues
Replace the word
continuous
show examples
 series and movies
instead
Linking Words
 of studying.
Hence
Linking Words
, pupils have less interest
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
studies
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, today's
education
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 is not updated to the modern era, they still adhere
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 old-fashioned
system
Use synonyms
 like
traditional
Add an article
the traditional
show examples
way
Use synonyms
 of classroom structure and
way
Use synonyms
 of teaching style.
This
Linking Words
 means learners prefer to study and gain knowledge from fun-based
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
education
Use synonyms
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
usual
Add an article
the usual
a usual
show examples
 explaining method by lectures.
For instance
Linking Words
, Indian
students
Use synonyms
have
Verb problem
pay
show examples
 less attention to their
studies
Use synonyms
 because they do not like the conventional
way
Use synonyms
 of teaching practice in
this
Linking Words
 modern era,
consequently
Linking Words
, their academic performance and
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 getting low. Pupils like to learn modern
education
Use synonyms
practice
Fix the agreement mistake
practices
show examples
 so that they have less
focus
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
education
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, numerous
students
Use synonyms
 do not
focus
Use synonyms
 on their
studies
Use synonyms
 because they are attracted to using
technology
Use synonyms
 in order to get more entertainment,
students
Use synonyms
 hate the traditional
way
Use synonyms
 of the
education
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 they prefer to learn by fun-based. These are the main reasons for
students
Use synonyms
 hard to
focus
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
studies
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be expanded with explanation and examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of ideas. Use linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs together more smoothly.
task achievement
Stay on topic and make sure all parts of the task are answered. Each paragraph should convey a specific point related to the task.
task achievement
Develop your ideas fully. Use specific examples to support your arguments and make your position clear.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range of vocabulary. Avoid repetitive language and ensure correct use of tenses and sentence structures.
coherence cohesion
Consider paragraphing for emphasis and clarity. Each paragraph should focus on one central idea. Avoid making multiple points in a single paragraph without clear demarcation.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • distractions
  • focus
  • pay attention
  • lack of interest
  • motivation
  • fatigue
  • sleep
  • classroom environment
  • teaching methods
  • technology addiction
  • social media
  • peer pressure
  • workload
  • support
  • active learning strategies
  • engaging
  • student-centered teaching
  • realistic goals
  • rewards
  • balanced lifestyle
  • screen time
  • breaks
  • physical activity
  • support and guidance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: