IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The given bar chart illustrates how many males and females played six different sports in English cities during 2012.

The given bar chart illustrates how many males and females played six different sports in English cities during 2012.
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The bar chart gives data on the number of
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
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 and women
played
Correct pronoun usage
who played
show examples
 six types
Use synonyms
sports
Change preposition
of sports
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 in English cities in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2012. As an
overall
Linking Words
 trend, it's clear that
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
highset
Correct your spelling
high
 proportion of boys chose to play football,
while
Linking Words
 a very large majority of girls participated in Swimming. On the one hand, Football in which a
significiant
Correct your spelling
significant
 percentage of men had been enrolled. The second most enlisted subject was Tennis as 50% of boys participated in
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
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. The remaining fields of
sports
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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Swimming, Cycling, Badminton and Hockey saw a midium down, with
approxiamately
Correct your spelling
approximately
 41%, 37%, 30% and 15%, respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a very large percentage of females chose the subject of Swimming.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Badminton and Tennis held the second and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third place in the most engaged
sports
Use synonyms
 by women, which are around 40% and 37%,
respectivily
Correct your spelling
respectively
. The leftovers had a sharp deduction compared with the top three
variety
Fix the agreement mistake
varieties
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 of
sports
Use synonyms
 chosen by boys, and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are Football, Cycling and Hockey, with the
percenteage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of 21%, 20% and 10%, respectively.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sports with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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