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Band 3.5

Globalization is creating a world of one culture and destroying national identity. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#globalization #world #culture #identity
Nowadays, globalization makes different cultures mix in, and
thus
 some individuals think that would cause a
world
 of one
culture
 and destroy national identity.
However
, I do not disagree with
this
 statement at all.
Firstly
,
people
 still use the local language to communicate when they stay in their country,
although
 most
people
 have learned English to interact around the
world
.
Subsequently
,
people
 are able to retain unique thoughts in the same nation rather than be replaced by the
culture
 of the West.
For example
, in Japan, a lot of traditional words can't be described by other languages because of their particular history.
Therefore
, breaking national identity is not easy through globalization.
Moreover
, in order to go viral
in
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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social media, enormous individuals tend to share their differences
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
culture
, so these platforms are
also
 pleasant
to build
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for building
show examples
 multiple
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
 content in recent years.
According to
 the report of
Tik Tok
Correct your spelling
TikTok
show examples
, they have created more than eighty categories from different kinds of humans in different backgrounds since 2021.
Thus
, I believe that the
world
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 not possess only one
culture
 in the future. In conclusion, humans always pursue
the
Correct article usage
apply
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differences around the
world
,
although
 the development of technology makes globalization dramatically.
Instead
,
people
 will generate new cultures in different, contemporary ways.
Submitted by J.C.Li.1997.11 on

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Task Achievement
Make sure you clearly state your position on the provided statement. An ambiguous stance can confuse readers and weaken your argument.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points more thoroughly, using a wider range of language and sentence structures to express nuances.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include a wider variety of transition words and phrases to improve flow and show clear relationships between ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check for grammatical mistakes and correct them, as these affect the clarity of your essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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