IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. A nation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#societies #world #population #cost #healthcare #nation’s #provision #future
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In recent years, the phenomenon of the rapidly ageing population has been a common challenge which causes the unaffordable cost of
healthcare
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 in many societies.
Therefore
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, some nations
decide
Wrong verb form
decided
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 to make regulations to let their citizens pay the
healthcare
Use synonyms
 provisions in the future. In my opinion, that must be carried out but it would generate other
problems
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 which governments should deal with.
Firstly
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,
people
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 could face a situation in which nobody can take care of them in the future in developed countries nowadays because of the lower rates of borning.
Thus
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, the government should encourage
people
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 to store money in advance when they still have the ability to work.
For example
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, Holland has practised high tax rates and
health
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insurance
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 since the 1980s in order to provide
Correct article usage
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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well-being
of
Change preposition
apply
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healthcare
Use synonyms
. In short, it is significantly useful for individuals to have a pleasant life after retiring.
On the other hand
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, the enforcement of
health
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insurance
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 could lead to an enormous load for young
people
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. To pay for the
insurance
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, young
people
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 were forced to reduce their daily consumption, earn more income, and have some
health
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problems
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.
According to
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 a report released in 2020 from Taiwan,
health
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insurance
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 acquires 40% of
people
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's annual budget.
Therefore
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, the government should deal with these
problems
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 to decrease the financial stress for young
people
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 at the same time when promoting
healthcare
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insurance
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. In conclusion, I strongly believe the government which is facing the ageing population should not only practice some strategies to encourage citizens to pay for their
healthcare
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 provision in the future, but
also
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 provide some measures to solve other
problems
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 produced by
health
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insurance
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.
Submitted by J.C.Li.1997.11 on

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