Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that prisoners are able to recognise their bad pasts and can be good for society
explaining
to young Change preposition
by explaining
people
the problems the
crimes. Change preposition
of the
This
essay totally desagrees
Correct your spelling
disagrees
disagree
that
statement. I Change preposition
with that
believed
that Wrong verb form
believe
people
who have been in prison
aren’t great poeple
to try to teach or Correct your spelling
people
educated
, but less youth generation that can be easily manipulated.
I think even Wrong verb form
educate
they
become good citizens Correct word choice
if they
people
who have been in prison
can not talk to teenagers about the dangers of crimes. In fact, they will probably talk with a subjective point of view, and even though they change, most of the times
they continue to didn’t Fix the agreement mistake
time
reconize
totally the bad actions they did. Because is important to know that Correct your spelling
recognise
become
a good citizen is to don’t anything bad at the time but Fix the infinitive
to become
that is
not the same to recognise completely their crimes and be
arrepentido. Carles Tamayo, a Wrong verb form
being
spanish
journallist created a documentary named Change the capitalization
Spanish
como
“cazar a un monstruo” where a Change the capitalization
Como
men
who Fix the agreement mistake
man
have
been in Correct subject-verb agreement
has
prison
for 24 years for the violation of minors talks about his crime, but he didn’t
recognise the crime even though Wrong verb form
doesn’t
there
is a good citizen now.
Young Correct pronoun usage
he
people
usually are easiest
to Correct article usage
the easiest
manipulated
. Change the form of the verb
manipulate
This
means that youth generations can empathize with a subjective and manipulated point of view and minimize the gravity of a crime. In short is more interesting to be talked by a specialist with a neutral point of view.
For exemple
in my school often we assist to Correct your spelling
example
conference
with experts Fix the agreement mistake
conferences
in
each topic.
In Change preposition
on
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
this
essay is
totally disagrees Unnecessary verb
apply
the
statement because Change preposition
with the
people
who have been in prison
are not always objectif and can manipulated
youths Wrong verb form
manipulate
that is
why is better to be teach
by Change the verb form
be taught
specialist
.Add an article
a specialist
the specialist
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Introduction and Conclusion
Strengthen your introduction and conclusion. Although you have an introduction and conclusion, they should be more clearly defined and should serve to effectively introduce and summarize your main ideas.
Supported Main Points
Make sure to support your statements with clear and specific examples. In some areas, examples could strengthen your arguments and help clearly convey your main points.
Logical Structure
Work on improving the logical structure and flow of your ideas. Some parts of the essay lack a clear progression of ideas, which can make it difficult for the reader to follow.
Clear and Comprehensive Ideas
You presented insightful ideas about the role of former prisoners with respect to teenagers.
Complete Response
Your perspective is original and thought-provoking, and you made some valid points about former prisoners possibly being subjective and the potential for manipulation.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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