Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that if you are an ex-prisoner and you can become a good person. These types of people have the responsibility to introduce young people who do not commit a crime to raise awareness of the acts. I agree because these types have a consciousness of all the bad things they did in the past , and they are trying to help others not commit these types of crimes.
Firstly
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ex-prisoners can show teenagers a different perspective that others, like police officers, cannot see. They can describe very well how bad a prisoner can feel without freedom and dignity locked up in a jail. If you hear a first-hand experience of a prisoner can give you a better idea of what a crime is and how
this
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is an act of gravity.
Additionally
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,
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type of story can help give you warnings.
Secondly
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, ex-prisoners give you a true lesson and how those who have done bad things can be reintegrated into society. Teenagers who are in difficult situations can learn from these individuals as a new figure of inspiration.
Furthermore
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, they offer a message of redemption that can encourage the youngsters or adults to make better choices and not be in bad influences .
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, there are many who argue that if you are an ex-prisoner, you do not necessarily have a good model to follow. Their past as criminals could decrease their credibility or be a bad example .
To conclude
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, I agree with the idea that ex-prisoners who have become good
persons
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and responsible citizens can be the best people to speak in front of teenagers about the dangers of breaking the law with their personal stories and experiences. To guide the youngsters to have a more responsible future.

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task
State a clear position in the first line and keep it to the end. The idea is good but the start is not clear. Try a simple thesis like, 'I agree that ex-prisoners can teach teens, but only if they have a true plan to help.'
structure
Use four paragraphs: intro, two body parts, and a short conclusion. Each paragraph has one main idea.
coherence
Make links between ideas with clear words: 'First', 'also', 'but', 'then'.
lexis
Word choice needs care. Use 'grave crime' and 'awareness' instead of wrong words.
grammar
Watch grammar. Keep subject and verb together, use full stops and commas well, keep sentences shorter.
examples
Give one or two clear examples or facts to show how ex-prisoners can help, and say where it can fail too.
structure
The writer shows a clear view and uses some links to show order.
content
Some effort to give reasons and an example.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • prisoners
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • consequences
  • insights
  • deterrent
  • guidance
  • support
  • role models
  • positive change
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