Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that former prisoners can change their attitudes and transform into good
citizens
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. And that their transformation made us the best to sensibilize children about the
dangers
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of breaking the law. I agree with that for two reasons :
First,
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ex-offenders are able to become good members of our society and
then
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, I think that they are the best people to talk about these
dangers
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.
To begin
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, prisons have been created to change the attitude of detainees, so it is logical that they can become good
citizens
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. They spend months or years in a small space with usually no distractions, so they have time to question themselves about what they did wrong before and what they could improve in the future. And
then
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when they get out of prison, the majority of them become good
citizens
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.
According to
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a study at Stanford University in California in 2021, 89% of former convicts successfully reintegrate into society, and 18% of them, have high-responsibility jobs.
Next,
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I think that
oldex-offenders
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older offenders
who succeed in their reintegration are the best people to talk to teenagers about the
dangers
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of breaking the law. Indeed, those know what they did wrong in their lives, so their testimonies can be very interesting for younger generations.
For example
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,
last
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February, in a French school in Paris, a former detainee came to narrate his history.
According to
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a survey, most students realize for the first time how a crime can destroy life.
Moreover
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, the fact that it is a prisoner who talks about the danger, is a way for them to repair, in some way, the infraction that they have committed.
To conclude
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, I agree with both ideas, even if all the prisoners are not, good
citizens
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, after prison
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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the best to sensibilize teenagers about the
dangers
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of committing a crime

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task achievement
Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to show your overall argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs are clearly defined and each has one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer linking words to connect your ideas and make the essay flow better.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid small mistakes in grammar and punctuation to improve overall clarity.
positive
You provide interesting examples to support your points.
positive
Your ideas about former prisoners becoming good citizens and being able to talk to teenagers are valuable.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • prisoners
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • consequences
  • insights
  • deterrent
  • guidance
  • support
  • role models
  • positive change
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