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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

International sporting events are costly and bring problems to the hosting country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#events #country
Sports are essential elements of a country and
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
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 of sporting events are organized internationally
and
Correct word choice
apply
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organizing them is
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
 responsibility in itself because it is an expensive affair, and have a view that it
also
 brings problems to the country hosting it, which is somewhat true.
This
 essay will
put
Verb problem
shed
show examples
 some light on how it affects the host and the problems associated with it. The first thing which comes to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mind when
thought
Add an article
the thought
show examples
 of organizing
such
 a sporting event is
money
. When competitions are organized
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
such
 an international level, it requires a huge amount of
money
 and a lot of time because of the high standards maintained.
For instance
, events
such
 as
Olympics
Correct article usage
the Olympics
show examples
 and Commonwealth Games are organized
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
such
 a large scale that the host country has to bear the expenses in billions, which is hard-earned
money
 of taxpayers.
Secondly
, these competitions are considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a status symbol by the hosting
nation
 and
thus
many efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
much effort
show examples
 and planning
is
Change the verb form
are
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 required to organize these games which use up
lot
Change the article
a lot
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 of resources in terms of wealth and workforce.
Additionally
, the after-effects of these games
sustain
Wrong verb form
are sustained
show examples
 as well, because
of
Change preposition
apply
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the cost of maintaining
such
 venues
add
Correct subject-verb agreement
adds
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an additional burden to the hosting
nation
 which is not
latter
Correct your spelling
later
show examples
 used and the
money
 invested in these complexes
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 wasted with no use in the future.
To sum up
, these competitions are a burden to the
nation
 because resources used here can be utilized in
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of the
nation
 and the people living in it.
Submitted by mohamedicdl175 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical organization of your essay. It's vital to have a clear introduction, body paragraphs with distinct ideas, and a well-defined conclusion. Linking phrases can improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
To fully address the task, make sure to cover all aspects of the prompt. Offer a balanced view with clear arguments and support your points with specific examples. A more nuanced discussion of the advantages alongside the disadvantages would have resulted in a richer response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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