Some people believe that computers are more a hindrance than a help in today's world. Others feel that they are such indispensable tools that they would not be able to live or work without them. •In what ways are computers a hindrance? •What is your opinion?
In earlier decades, technology was less
advance
than these days. The development of technology itself is indulging the role of Replace the word
advanced
computers
on
society Change preposition
in
as well as
in humans
life's contribution. Some Fix the agreement mistake
human
says
that Correct subject-verb agreement
say
computers
are only become a barricade to each of individuals while
the other hand believes that this
device
beneficial in their daily activities. In Add a verb
device is
device was
this
essay
I will Add a comma
essay,
extent
Replace the word
extend
further
elaboration on the hindrance side.
First and foremost, computer
users are indeed possible
to connect with Correct word choice
able
lot
of Change the article
a lot
community
around the world by utilizing the internet. Fix the agreement mistake
communities
However
, this
phenomenon boosts the
privacy Correct article usage
apply
restriction
and Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
make
the issue common in Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
the
society. Many of the users are unaware Correct article usage
apply
with
what they access on their Change preposition
of
computers
.
Moreover
, laptop
is Add an article
the laptop
a laptop
more
superior to compare with a Correct quantifier usage
apply
computer
. This
is because laptop
is a smaller device that pretty much Add an article
the laptop
a laptop
have
similarities and works the same as Change the verb form
has
computer
. Add an article
a computer
Thus
, people can easily bring the gadget to
everywhere they want and start Change preposition
apply
work
with it anytime. Wrong verb form
working
While
computer
at least Correct article usage
a computer
need
a mouse, screen, and keyboard that Change the verb form
needs
are
Change the verb form
is
seperated
from its body, Correct your spelling
separated
laptop
is more efficient as those three parts Add an article
the laptop
a laptop
already
attached to the main body.
From my personal point of view, Add a missing verb
are already
computers
do have some advantages on
Change preposition
to
the
society. Yet, the parts where they take a role to harm most Correct article usage
apply
of
people Change preposition
apply
are
cannot be Unnecessary verb
apply
forgetten
. Correct your spelling
forgotten
To sum up
, people need to take a role to adapt well with
modernization as they cannot run from it.Change preposition
to
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that both the introduction and the conclusion clearly state the topic and your stance on it. The conclusion could be better developed to encapsulate the essay's main points.
logical structure
Work on developing a clear thesis statement that guides the subsequent paragraphs. Each main point should clearly support the thesis.
supported main points
Provide more specific examples and explanations to support each point made. Avoid making broad statements without grounding them in clear, real-world examples.
complete response
Address the prompt fully by providing a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument, including how computers can be a hindrance while also clearly articulating your own opinion with thorough supporting points.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and develop your ideas further to ensure they are comprehensive. Avoid vague statements, and make sure that each paragraph distinctly conveys a cohesive idea relating to the topic.
relevant specific examples
Use specific, relevant examples to substantiate your claims. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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