Some people believe that computers are more a hindrance than a help in today's world. Others feel that they are such indispensable tools that they would not be able to live or work without them. •In what ways are computers a hindrance? •What is your opinion?

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In earlier decades, technology was less
advance
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advanced
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than these days. The development of technology itself is indulging the role of
computers
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on
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in
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society
as well as
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in
humans
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human
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life's contribution. Some
says
Correct subject-verb agreement
say
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that
computers
Use synonyms
are only become a barricade to each of individuals
while
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the other hand believes that
this
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device
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device is
device was
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beneficial in their daily activities. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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I will
extent
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extend
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further
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elaboration on the hindrance side. First and foremost,
computer
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users are indeed
possible
Correct word choice
able
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to connect with
lot
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a lot
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of
community
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communities
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around the world by utilizing the internet.
However
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,
this
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phenomenon boosts
the
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apply
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privacy
restriction
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restrictions
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and
make
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makes
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the issue common in
the
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apply
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society. Many of the users are unaware
with
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of
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what they access on their
computers
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.
Moreover
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,
laptop
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the laptop
a laptop
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is
more
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apply
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superior to compare with a
computer
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.
This
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is because
laptop
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the laptop
a laptop
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is a smaller device that pretty much
have
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has
show examples
similarities and works the same as
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computer
Add an article
a computer
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.
Thus
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, people can easily bring the gadget
to
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apply
show examples
everywhere they want and start
work
Wrong verb form
working
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with it anytime.
While
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Use synonyms
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
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at least
need
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needs
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a mouse, screen, and keyboard that
are
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is
show examples
seperated
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separated
from its body,
laptop
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the laptop
a laptop
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is more efficient as those three parts
already
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are already
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attached to the main body. From my personal point of view,
computers
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do have some advantages
on
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to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Yet, the parts where they take a role to harm most
of
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apply
show examples
people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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cannot be
forgetten
Correct your spelling
forgotten
.
To sum up
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, people need to take a role to adapt well
with
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to
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modernization as they cannot run from it.
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that both the introduction and the conclusion clearly state the topic and your stance on it. The conclusion could be better developed to encapsulate the essay's main points.
logical structure
Work on developing a clear thesis statement that guides the subsequent paragraphs. Each main point should clearly support the thesis.
supported main points
Provide more specific examples and explanations to support each point made. Avoid making broad statements without grounding them in clear, real-world examples.
complete response
Address the prompt fully by providing a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument, including how computers can be a hindrance while also clearly articulating your own opinion with thorough supporting points.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and develop your ideas further to ensure they are comprehensive. Avoid vague statements, and make sure that each paragraph distinctly conveys a cohesive idea relating to the topic.
relevant specific examples
Use specific, relevant examples to substantiate your claims. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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