Many employees are able to work at home due to modern technology. Some people claim that it can benefit only the workers, not the employers. Is it a positive or negative development?

Advancing in technology makes communication become easier nowadays. We can
work
at
home
without going to the workplace.
This
benefits both an
employee
and an
employer
, but
also
has some drawbacks. So, in my opinion,
this
development is on the positive side rather than
negative
Add an article
the negative
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side. First of all, when working from
home
, an
employee
can save cost and time spent on travelling back and forth.
For example
, it usually takes about 1 hour for an office worker to reach his office with travel fares of around 100 Baht and it is the same for vice versa. If he can
work
at
home
, he can save 200 Baht and 2 hours a day.
In
Change preposition
From
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an
employer
's aspect, having his
employee
work
at
home
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
a good point too. Having fewer employees at a workplace means fewer usages of water ,electricity and some accommodations provided by a
company
,
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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free foods, snacks and drinks.
For
this
reason, it can help a
company
to reduce its expense.
On the other hand
, working at
home
could affect efficiency. To illustrate, when working at
home
, there's no one to
come
Verb problem
apply
show examples
check on you whether you are working or not. So one might be slacking off all day without getting any
work
done.
Moreover
, when the
work
isn't going smoothly, it has negative outcomes for a
company
and an
employer
,
to give
Verb problem
for
show examples
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
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,
drop
Correct article usage
a drop
show examples
in quality ,profit loss and dissatisfaction of customers. In conclusion, working at
home
has good points for both an
employee
and an
employer
. An
employee
doesn't have to waste his life being on the road for 2 hours a day.
While
an
employer
saves money spent on the
company
's facilities. But working at
home
may reduce the quality of
work
too.
Therefore
,
this
development is more on the positive side with a little bit
drawback
Change preposition
of drawback
show examples
.
Submitted by Ze.Nin3.R0 on

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction provides a reasonable setup for the essay, but the concluding paragraph could use a more definitive stance to more effectively bookend the discussion. The structure of the essay seems mostly logical, yet transitions between some ideas and paragraphs could be smoother. Pronouns and cohesive devices are generally used well, but some ideas could be expanded upon for clearer linkage.
task achievement
The essay reflects some understanding of the topic with an attempt to cover both positives and negatives of the argument. However, there is a need for more precise and varied examples to fully support the points made. The overall position is somewhat clear, but it lacks a strong, well-explained argument, especially in the conclusion, to fulfill the task requirements effectively. Consider balancing the coverage of points for both employees and employers and ensure the question prompt is directly and completely addressed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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