It is sometimes said that people who think only about themselves are happier because they get what they want. Others say that selfish people have no friends and are usually lonely. Why do you think some people act selfishly? Is it good to be selfish?

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It is argued that someone who only care about themselves are happier
due to
they
could
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can
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have everything they want.
While
,
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apply
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others
think that
people
with selfish
behavior
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behaviour
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usually
feels
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feel
show examples
alone because no one
want
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wants
show examples
to be their friend. My
thought
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thoughts
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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not in line with
this
statement, and there are two opinions to support my statements. First of all, we often directly judge a person as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
selfish, because we use our personal
standard
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standards
show examples
to define what kind of person they are. Before
make
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making
show examples
a judgement, it is better to learn deeply about him or her.
For Instance
, we might
be thinks
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think
show examples
that our mate is selfish because they never contributed his money whenever we hang around together. But, when we check the
fact
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facts
show examples
, we know the truth that our mate is an orphan and his money is very limited, that’s why he will manage his expenditure carefully.
In other words
, try to understand
others
before deciding
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on others
show examples
others
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others'
other's
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nature.
Secondly
, the generation in
this
modern time especially the
milenials
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millennials
Millenials
love to use the word “logic”
instead
of “selfish”. It is fair enough to secure the resources to
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
our needs
first
,
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apply
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before
others
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others'
other's
show examples
needs
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need
show examples
.
This
kind of logical thinking is accepted by most of society,
while
the rest of
people
believe that’s
the
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a
show examples
form of selfishness.
For example
, I will feed my family first before I think about
otherselves
Correct your spelling
others
. That act of service is rational, and it is totally not selfish. In conclusion,
selfish
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selfishness
show examples
people
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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real and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can be found
in
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apply
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everywhere, despite we can not conclude
that
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whether
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someone is selfish or not after
try
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
to learn more about their
charateristics
Correct your spelling
characteristics
.
Also
,
in
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apply
show examples
many times
people
judged
Add a missing verb
are judged
show examples
as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
selfish
person
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people
show examples
even in
reality
Add a comma
reality,
show examples
they just act rationally.
Therefore
,
focus
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focusing
show examples
on
our selves
Correct your spelling
ourselves
show examples
is more important
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
attempt
Wrong verb form
attempting
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to value
others
Submitted by har.josua on

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Introduction & Conclusion
The essay needs a clear introduction stating the writer's opinion followed by a structured development of ideas, and a conclusion that summarizes the arguments.
Paragraph Development
Consider using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main idea. Followed by supporting sentences that develop the idea in detail.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring your essay has logical progression where one idea smoothly transitions to the next. Use cohesive devices such as pronouns, conjunctions, and discourse markers to help with this.
Supporting Examples
Each main point should be supported by relevant, specific examples or evidence, which your essay is currently lacking. Provide facts, statistics, real-life examples or quotes to substantiate your arguments.
Task Response
Your response to both questions must be complete and comprehensive. Take care to answer all parts of the question directly and fully, ensuring your position is clear throughout the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Self-preservation
  • Individualistic
  • Empathy
  • Altruism
  • Short-sighted
  • Isolation
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Community cohesion
  • Long-term satisfaction
  • Meaningful connections
  • Social fabric
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