Some people believe that children should not be given homework every day, while others believe that they must get homework every day in order to be successful at school. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some individuals highlight the importance of getting
school
homework
every day for
children
while
others argue the drawbacks of it.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
receiving
homework
daily will help to stay focused on
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
,
this
essay argues that having study-free
time
will help
children
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
stay relaxed and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
improve many life skills. On the one hand, some people think that
children
will pay more attention to their studies if they get
homework
daily. They believe
,
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apply
show examples
it prevents youngsters from getting distracted by unnecessary activities.
Moreover
, continued engagement in studies after
school
will help them to achieve good results. As an example, if a child gets
homework
daily, he will not have
time
to waste on playing video games or watching adult movies.
However
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe that
this
practice makes
children
stressed and frustrated
while
discouraging physical play.
On the other hand
, the people who talk against the above idea highlight that
children
should not get
homework
daily as it will benefit the mental and physical well-being of
children
.If adolescents have study free
time
after
school
, they will have more
time
to play with friends or to do a sport.It will enhance their mental and physical well-being
while
improving social and life skills.
For instance
,
study free
Add a hyphen
study-free
show examples
afternoons can be allocated for playing a sport like swimming or Badminton which enhances
children
's ability to work in a group, patience, turn-taking , etc. In conclusion,
while
some people highlight the advantages of getting
school
work daily to enhance
children
's attention towards education others think that
homework
should not be assigned daily to give
children
more
time
to play.I believe that
children
should get study-free afternoons to stay relaxed and to improve their social and life skills as receiving
homework
every day makes
children
frustrated.
Submitted by nir.paba6 on

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task achievement
Ensure you answer all parts of the task. The response attempts to do so but could be more balanced in the discussion of both viewpoints. Your personal opinion is clear, but the essay should offer a more comprehensive exploration of both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a basic logical structure but can benefit from clearer transitions and topic sentences. Work to enhance the organization of your ideas to guide the reader more effectively through your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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