More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are the possible solutions?

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The amount of private
cars
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is rising in developing countries. There are several problems caused by the increasing
number
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of
cars
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. One of the problems is a serious
traffic
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jam and I will discuss the problem and the solutions in
this
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essay.
Although
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owning a
car
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is convenient for moving from one place to another, lots of
people
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having their own
cars
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would cause
traffic
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congestion. Especially, when a
city
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is developing, the old
road
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might be too narrow to contain the rapidly growing population and
cars
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. One of the examples is the Keelung
Road
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in Taipei. The
road
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was built many years ago and only can allow a few
cars
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to drive through at the same time. Since more and more vehicles are on the
road
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now, there is a
traffic
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jam every morning when
people
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go to work. There are two approaches to cope with the problem.
First,
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the government should set up rules that require
car
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buyers to pay more tax so potential
car
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owners would lower their motivation to buy a new
car
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.
Second,
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the government could limit the
number
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of
cars
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on the
road
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every day.
For instance
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, to solve the serious
traffic
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issue, the government in Beijing set up a strict rule to regulate
traffic
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. Beijing residents could only drive into the
city
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on the odd date if their
car
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plate
number
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is the odd
number
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while
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people
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whose
car
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plate
number
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is the even
number
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can drive their
car
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into the
city
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on the even date.
Such
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regulation helps to control the
number
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of
cars
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entering the
city
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.
Therefore
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, the
number
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of
cars
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decreases. In conclusion, more and more
people
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have their first
car
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in developing countries, which causes
traffic
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congestion, and the governments need to set up rules to lower the desire to purchase and limit the
number
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of vehicles on the
road
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.
Submitted by joannechao on

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introduction conclusion present
While you provided an introduction and a conclusion, both could be developed with more clarity and detail. Your introduction should clearly state the problems and outline your solutions, while your conclusion should summarize your main points effectively without introducing new information.
supported main points
Your essay needs clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument. The connections between ideas could be strengthened with more varied and accurate linking phrases.
logical structure
The logical structure can be improved by developing a more defined argument in each paragraph. A common pattern is to present a problem, explain it, offer a solution, and then discuss the result of this solution. Following such a pattern can enhance the logical flow of your essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
To complete the task fully, you should develop your ideas more comprehensively. For example, while you mention traffic congestion, you could explore additional problems such as environmental impact, economic effects, and social implications.
relevant specific examples
Be sure to support your ideas with specific examples. The example provided about Beijing's traffic regulations is a good start, but more detail and elaboration on its effectiveness would strengthen your argument.
complete response
A complete response requires you to address both parts of the question fully. In this essay, you have only presented one problem and its solutions. Please make sure that you cover multiple problems and a wider range of solutions to fully meet the requirements of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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