IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that new houses should be built in the same styles as older houses. Others believe that the local council should allow people to choose different designs for their houses. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #houses #styles #council #designs
It is believed that new
houses
 should remain the same styles as older
houses
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the local residents,
while
 others argue that the local council should allow citizens to restructure their own
houses
 in the way they want. In my opinion, I advocate the second view for a variety of reasons. On the one hand, there are many local residential areas that have been present for decades, which unknowingly has led to these areas becoming cultural heritages. That means preserving traditional and cultural values, which could develop tourism in these places.
For example
, Hoi An - is a famous destination and ancient city in Vietnam. Local people in
this
 city are encouraged to preserve their old
houses
 and construct new
houses
 in traditional architectural styles.
Therefore
, Hoi An has become a popular tourist place that attracts millions of visitors on an annual basis.
On the other hand
, people
also
 have the right to make their own decisions when it comes to building their
houses
. First of all, some citizens feel uncomfortable and cannot adapt to the style of old buildings in their neighbourhood. Their rights would be violated if they were forced to live in a house where families do not feel satisfied
about
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with
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 the design.
Furthermore
, if each house in an area is built in a unique style, it will greatly contribute to the diverse image of the town.
Finally
, in order to keep old
houses
, it would be more expensive than modern
houses
. In conclusion,
although
 some people think that the design and construction of modern and traditional buildings should be the same, I personally believe that the citizens should be allowed to decide the way their
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
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 will be built.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure that ideas are organized in a logical manner with clear paragraphing and that they flow smoothly from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to help the reader understand the relationship between ideas, but ensure that they are used correctly without redundancy.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains one main idea and that it is fully developed with supporting explanations, evidence, or examples.
task achievement
Provide a thorough response to all parts of the task which means discussing both views and your own opinion in a balanced way.
task achievement
Provide clear and comprehensive ideas that address the prompt. Ideas should be expanded sufficiently with explanations or examples that are specific and relevant.
task achievement
Introduce and conclude the topic effectively; the introduction should prepare the reader for what is to come and the conclusion should neatly summarize the main points without repeating them verbatim.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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