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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn on their own income and therefore do not require the financial security marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree?

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is the changing role of
women
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 in society. Now people are beginning to
realize
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realise
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 that marriage is no longer the only way for
women
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 to achieve stability. Personally, I tend to think that financial independence is one of the key reasons, but not the only factor.
Firstly
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, it is well known that
women
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 today have more opportunities to work and build successful careers. What I mean here is that many
women
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 can support themselves without depending on a husband’s salary. A good case in point is modern Europe, where a high percentage of
women
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 continue living alone even when they reach their thirties, because they feel confident in their own income.
In addition
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,
women
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 may prefer to travel or focus on education when they finish their studies, rather than getting married immediately.
On the other hand
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, it can
also
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 be argued that money is not the only explanation.
That is
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 to say, many
women
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 value personal freedom and do not want to be limited by traditional family roles. Take
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for
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, for
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example
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example,
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 young professionals in big cities:
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 often choose cohabitation
instead
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 of official marriage, whether or not financial security is important for them.
Moreover
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, social norms have changed, and, of course, people do not face the same pressure from relatives as in the past. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account, we can say that
women
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 refuse marriage not only because of financial independence, but
also
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due to
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 lifestyle choices and cultural change. To a certain extent, I agree that money plays a major role, but it is not the only factor behind
this
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 trend.

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structure
Say your view clearly in the first part and keep it clear all through the essay.
content
Give one strong example for each idea, with a small detail like a number or place to make it real.
coherence
Link ideas in a smooth flow and make one idea per paragraph with a good link.
language
Use simple language and short sentences to make it easy to read.
argument
You show money is a big reason but not the only one.
coherence
You use linking words well like 'On the other hand', 'In addition'.
content
You give more than one reason and keep the idea in mind.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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