IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that nowadays we Have too many choices. To what extent you agree or disagree.

#people #choices
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There are arguments in public that, recently, they find
difficulties
Replace the word
difficult
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 to decide
an
Change preposition
on an
show examples
 option. I firmly agree with
this
Linking Words
statements
Fix the agreement mistake
statement
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due to
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 the
using
Replace the word
use
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 of the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 and the tight
competitions
Fix the agreement mistake
competition
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 between entrepreneurs.
Initially
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, the usage of the internet has been used widely and
people
Use synonyms
 use it to acquire information.
As a result
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, sellers take
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
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 by posting and promoting their
products
Use synonyms
 in order to persuade buyers.
Therefore
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, when consumers decide to purchase goods from online platforms, they have many choices.
For example
Linking Words
, Shopee is a big online market in Indonesia which
people
Use synonyms
 use
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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to obtain every product because there are many
e-market
Change to a plural noun
e-markets
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 there providing
same
Change the article
the same
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 type of
products
Use synonyms
 with different superiority and
vary
Wrong verb form
varied
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 prices. In terms of entrepreneurs, there are many companies competing to sustain
Correct pronoun usage
themselves in
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in
Correct pronoun usage
themselves in
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this
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 modern era.
As a result
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, producing and inventing leading
products
Use synonyms
 are done, continuously, by many famous brands.
Therefore
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,
people
Use synonyms
 have
vary
Replace the word
various
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 options and sometimes
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
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 need time to consider what
products
Use synonyms
being
Wrong verb form
are
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 appropriate
with
Change preposition
for
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 their needs and abilities.
For example
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, Apple, Samsung, Realmee,
Oppo
Correct word choice
and Oppo
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 are big smartphone companies
always
Correct pronoun usage
that always
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updating
Wrong verb form
update
show examples
 their smartphones and
sale
Replace the word
sell
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it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
vary
Replace the word
various
show examples
 prices
which
Correct your spelling
with
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 the quality almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 and many buyers
are confuse
Change the verb form
are confused
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to pick
Change preposition
about picking
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 a side,
due to
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 the fact that each of
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 has their own excellence.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the internet and
competitions
Fix the agreement mistake
competition
show examples
 among companies lead to
confusing
Replace the word
confusion
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
among people
show examples
 in order to make a choice
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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logical structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This will help in articulating points more effectively and guide the reader through your argument.
introduction conclusion present
It is important to have a well-articulated introduction that sets the context for the reader and a conclusion that effectively summarizes your stance and the main points of the essay without introducing new information.
supported main points
Develop and support your main points with cohesive arguments and varied sentence structures. Linking words and phrases are essential in maintaining the flow of your essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Although you have addressed the main prompt, a more developed response with in-depth analysis and elaboration of ideas would enhance the essay. It is crucial to not only state points but also explore them further to demonstrate understanding.
relevant specific examples
By incorporating a range of specific examples, you can strengthen your argument. Make sure these examples are fully elaborated to clarify your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
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