The prison system has not been effective at reforming criminals. A large number of convicted felons return to committing crimes soon after being released. What are the problems with the prison system and what solution can you recommend to address this issue?

#prison #system #criminals #felons #crimes #address

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Although

Linking Words

the people who

committ

Correct your spelling

commit

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

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have been caught

into

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show examples

prison

Use synonyms

, most of them still do the same fault after getting free from

the

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apply

show examples

prison

Use synonyms

This

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essay will answer how the problems of

this

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trend could

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happen

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happened

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happen

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and

followed

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show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Change preposition

apply

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the steps that are needed. There are various reasons why the wrongdoers still make a deal with the crime.

The first

Correct article usage

First

show examples

and foremost, their behaviour already

got

Verb problem

apply

show examples

encourage

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encouraged

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with

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show examples

the bad one since they are affected by other felons as they share the same room with them.

As a result

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, their awareness to follow the law and ethics in real life

Verb problem

has

show examples

disappeared. If one of them

get

Correct subject-verb agreement

gets

show examples

a resentment of their

room mate

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roommate

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for instance

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, there is a possibility that one of the criminals to engage the others to do

a revenge

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revenge

an act of revenge

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. The authorities must

be conduct

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conduct

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the classes with some positive activities for the felons to renew their understanding

about

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show examples

the norms and ethics in society.

Moreover

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, they will

could

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apply

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strongly find back the meaning of life so that they can

life

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live

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normally as good citizens. To

illlustrate

Correct your spelling

illustrate

class

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the class

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of religion might be held by the authority in the

prison

Use synonyms

In addition

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, more quality time for the wrongdoers to meet their

family

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families

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is required to boost

this

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effort. In conclusion, the reason why the criminals still have a willingness to break the law is because

the

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of the

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exposure from other felons that develop into their

habbit

Correct your spelling

habit

even though they already have been punished.

Therefore

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, conducting positive

clasess

Correct your spelling

classes

for them

while

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

prison

Use synonyms

and

having

Verb problem

giving them

show examples

more time to meet family have been purposed to do by the authorities.

Submitted by joyapakpahan on Fri Jan 12 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay's coherence could significantly improve by ensuring the logical sequence of ideas and avoiding abrupt jumps between points, which can be achieved by crafting more cohesive linking expressions and clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.

coherence cohesion

An effective introduction and conclusion are crucial. The introduction should clearly state the problem & thesis, while the conclusion should summarize the main points without introducing new information. Both were present but lacked clarity and precision.

task achievement

Develop your main points with specific examples and details. This essay requires elaboration on the problems and solutions by providing concrete and relevant examples to support the arguments. Doing so demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and enhances the essay's persuasiveness.

task achievement

To ensure the response is complete, directly address all parts of the task's prompt throughout the essay. This includes a balanced discussion on both the problems of the prison system and the recommendations for improvements, with equal development for each.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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The prison system has not been effective at reforming criminals. A large number of convicted felons return to committing crimes soon after being released. What are the problems with the prison system and what solution can you recommend to address this issue?

Fully explain your ideas

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers- based on technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

In some cities of the world, cars are replacing bicycles. However, in some cities, bicycle are replacing cars. What are the reason for this for these developments? In your opinion, which one is better?

In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partners discuss and give your own opinion.