The prison system has not been effective at reforming criminals. A large number of convicted felons return to committing crimes soon after being released. What are the problems with the prison system and what solution can you recommend to address this issue?

#prison #system #criminals #felons #crimes #address

Although

the people who

committ

Correct your spelling

commit

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

have been caught

into

Change preposition

show examples

prison

, most of them still do the same fault after getting free from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

prison

This

essay will answer how the problems of

this

trend could

Wrong verb form

happen

show examples

happened

Wrong verb form

happen

show examples

and

followed

Wrong verb form

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the steps that are needed. There are various reasons why the wrongdoers still make a deal with the crime.

The first

Correct article usage

First

show examples

and foremost, their behaviour already

got

Verb problem

apply

show examples

encourage

Change the verb form

encouraged

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

the bad one since they are affected by other felons as they share the same room with them.

As a result

, their awareness to follow the law and ethics in real life

Verb problem

has

show examples

disappeared. If one of them

get

Correct subject-verb agreement

gets

show examples

a resentment of their

room mate

Correct your spelling

roommate

show examples

for instance

, there is a possibility that one of the criminals to engage the others to do

a revenge

Remove the article

revenge

an act of revenge

show examples

. The authorities must

be conduct

Change the verb form

conduct

show examples

the classes with some positive activities for the felons to renew their understanding

about

Change preposition

show examples

the norms and ethics in society.

Moreover

, they will

could

Remove a modal verb

apply

show examples

strongly find back the meaning of life so that they can

life

Replace the word

live

show examples

normally as good citizens. To

illlustrate

Correct your spelling

illustrate

class

Correct article usage

the class

show examples

of religion might be held by the authority in the

prison

In addition

, more quality time for the wrongdoers to meet their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

is required to boost

this

effort. In conclusion, the reason why the criminals still have a willingness to break the law is because

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

exposure from other felons that develop into their

habbit

Correct your spelling

habit

even though they already have been punished.

Therefore

, conducting positive

clasess

Correct your spelling

classes

for them

while

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

prison

and

having

Verb problem

giving them

show examples

more time to meet family have been purposed to do by the authorities.

Submitted by joyapakpahan on Fri Jan 12 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The essay's coherence could significantly improve by ensuring the logical sequence of ideas and avoiding abrupt jumps between points, which can be achieved by crafting more cohesive linking expressions and clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.

coherence cohesion

An effective introduction and conclusion are crucial. The introduction should clearly state the problem & thesis, while the conclusion should summarize the main points without introducing new information. Both were present but lacked clarity and precision.

task achievement

Develop your main points with specific examples and details. This essay requires elaboration on the problems and solutions by providing concrete and relevant examples to support the arguments. Doing so demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and enhances the essay's persuasiveness.

task achievement

To ensure the response is complete, directly address all parts of the task's prompt throughout the essay. This includes a balanced discussion on both the problems of the prison system and the recommendations for improvements, with equal development for each.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be bend in public place. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In modern times, the issue of smoking in public points has become highly controversial. There are those who say that smoking in public spots should be banned, however, others believe that it should not be. In this essay, I will examine both sides of the argument and provide my overall opinion.
7.5
band
With the widespread use of interent , more and more peolpe choose to work from home. Do the advantage of this trend outwight the disadvantage?
An increasing number of individuals today opt to work from home due to the availability of high-speed internet instead of working in an office. Nowadays, everyone has to increase their productivity to beat this competitive world without losing precious time. This choice has a number of benefits and drawbacks, which will be discussed in this essay.
4.5
band
University students often focus on one subjects . However , some people think that universities should encourage students to learn a range of other subjects . To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
Today, more students are only one subject in universities . But , some might argue that colleges should motivate scholars to learn more than one module in their academics and I strongly agree with this statement because it provides a lot of details about different things and it can also use in their job perspective sector too.
7
band
some people think that it is beneficial to travel abroad, but others think it is unnecessary because we have the Internet and TV. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Travelling to different countries is a majority activity on a long vacation. Travellers can enjoy merits when they travel to other places. With the popularity of the Internet and TV, people can acquire information about foreign scenery from TV programmes they can even conduct online searches if they are interested. This essay reveals the point of view why foreign travellers like to travel abroad and others think it is not necessary and express my opinion.
<4
band
Today it is common for many business meeting and business training to take place online. Do the advantages of this new development outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays,without the full of technology, some businesses tend to meet, share and training on the Internet because they might think that would be easier not to spend time transporting to the other places. But,in my opinion, this could be a disaster.

The prison system has not been effective at reforming criminals. A large number of convicted felons return to committing crimes soon after being released. What are the problems with the prison system and what solution can you recommend to address this issue?

Fully explain your ideas

Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be bend in public place. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

With the widespread use of interent , more and more peolpe choose to work from home. Do the advantage of this trend outwight the disadvantage?

University students often focus on one subjects . However , some people think that universities should encourage students to learn a range of other subjects . To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

some people think that it is beneficial to travel abroad, but others think it is unnecessary because we have the Internet and TV. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Today it is common for many business meeting and business training to take place online. Do the advantages of this new development outweigh the disadvantages?