IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people find it hard to balance their work with other parts of their lives. What problems does this cause? How can this problem be overcome?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, work-life balance has become a daunting task for several individuals.
This
Linking Words
essay
Use synonyms
 will discuss the causes involving working longer hours and the inability to
time
Use synonyms
management
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
essay
Use synonyms
 will
also
Linking Words
 suggest solutions involving managing
time
Use synonyms
 appropriately
as well as
Linking Words
 reducing working hours. People do their job for days and nights than ever before.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, they might find it difficult to manage their other
tasks
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
 a rise in competition level.
For instance
Linking Words
, research is evident that people have started overtime because of receiving good opportunities for high salaries.
This
Linking Words
 often results in instability in work-life balance and
further
Linking Words
 makes it hard to use
time
Use synonyms
management
Use synonyms
 skills for other
tasks
Use synonyms
. Maintaining a good balance between life and other activities with the use of effective
management
Use synonyms
 of
time
Use synonyms
 are crucial
Use synonyms
tasks
Fix the agreement mistake
task
show examples
 to mitigate
this
Linking Words
 issue. People need to realize if they live only for work they will not be successful in indulging in
tasks
Use synonyms
 on the other side. To cite an example, if a person overworks every day from early morning to late night
then
Linking Words
 he would miss family events and not spend quality
time
Use synonyms
 with them.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in today's fast-paced world, managing work with other life events has increased to a difficult level.
This
Linking Words
essay
Use synonyms
 discussed how unbalanced work-life relations are caused by high competition and poor
time
Use synonyms
management
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
essay
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 suggested that the solutions to
this
Linking Words
 problem are twofold: to understand the significance of family and
management
Use synonyms
 of
time
Use synonyms
 effectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction where you paraphrase the task and provide an outline of the points your essay will cover. The conclusion should summarize the key points discussed and restate your essay's standpoint without introducing new information.
Idea Development & Examples
Develop your ideas more fully. You mentioned competition and time management as reasons for poor work-life balance, and managing time effectively as a solution. These points should be expanded with more detailed explanations, and relevant specific examples should be provided to illustrate your arguments.
Cohesive Devices
Use cohesive devices appropriately to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs. While your essay has a logical structure, you could improve it by signaling the relationship between ideas more clearly, using a wider range of linking words, phrases, and transitional sentences.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: