IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Universities and colleges are now offering qualifications through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Distance
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 learning has grown and
became
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become
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 a new phenomenon in universities and colleges. In my opinion, the development of
distance
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 learning has benefits,
while
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 there are drawbacks
cannot
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that cannot
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 be solved. On one hand,
distance
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 learning has the following benefits to both
students
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 and teachers.First of all, online teaching is [beneficial to
students
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]
is
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and is
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 easier to review. Memory declines as time goes by and course content is difficult to review if only relying on handwritten notes.
However
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, online teaching can be recorded, which
help
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helps
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students
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 to review the class effectively.
Secondly
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, teachers can concentrate on teaching and offer
better
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a better
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 quality of
education
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 when they teach online.Teachers can be distracted in class by disobedient
students
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, which leads to poor quality of
education
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.
However
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,
distance
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 learning creates a better environment of teaching where there is no distraction, which can help
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teacher
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teachers
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to
Verb problem
apply
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focus on teaching and improve the quality of
education
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.
On the other hand
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, I believe there are serious drawbacks of
distance
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 learning that make it hard to replace traditional
education
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.
Firstly
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, the lack of
interaction
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 between
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teacher
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teachers
show examples
 and
students
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 leads to poor
teacher
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-student relationships.
Comparing
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Compared
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 with traditional teaching
method
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methods
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, online teaching lacks real
interaction
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 between
students
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 and
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teacher
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teachers
show examples
 as it usually becomes a situation where the
teacher
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 does not get
response
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responses
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 from
students
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.
As a result
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, it leads to poor
teacher
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-student relationships.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the lack of social
interaction
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 can indirectly cause
students
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 to develop social anxiety. School is a small society, and social
relationship
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relationships
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 in school
helps
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help
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students
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 learn social skills. With
distance
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 learning,
students
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 have less chance to interact with classmates and
therefore
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 lose the chance of making new friends. It can cause alienation, and without social
interaction
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, ultimately,
students
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 could suffer from social anxiety.
To sum up
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, I do not believe that the benefits of
distance
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 learning outweigh the drawbacks because
distance
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 learning can weaken
teacher
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-student relationships and lead to social anxiety.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should set the stage for the discussion, and the conclusion should effectively summarize your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Make better use of cohesive devices like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'furthermore' to help guide the reader through your argument. However, avoid overusing these terms and strive for more sophisticated cohesion through lexical variety.
coherence cohesion
While you have offered supported main points, aim to develop these with more detailed examples and explanations to demonstrate a deeper level of analysis and discussion.
task achievement
To achieve a higher score in task response, your essay should address all parts of the prompt with a balanced view that fully develops both the advantages and disadvantages presented.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are clear and comprehensive. Each paragraph should have one main idea that is thoroughly explored, rather than multiple ideas that are not fully developed.
task achievement
Include more concrete, specific examples to strengthen your arguments, making them more persuasive and relatable to the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unparalleled flexibility
  • democratizes education
  • geographically isolated
  • personal circumstances
  • cost-effectiveness
  • accommodation
  • commuting
  • self-motivated learning
  • self-discipline
  • time management
  • direct interaction
  • feelings of isolation
  • quality and recognition
  • inferior
  • technical issues
  • digital divide
  • reliable technology
  • underprivileged
What to do next:
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