In many countries, the number of people suffering from stress is increasing. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to tackle it?

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In most parts of the world, there has been a rise in the number of people who are affected by severe mental health issues. The two main causes are the abundant tension of work or study

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and financial problems

due to

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overspending. These problems can be solved by promoting social activities outside of the office and proper management of our financial structures. The first issue that can cause

stress

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is the excessive pressure from work or education.

This

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problem happens

due to

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high-demanding objectives from the upper-management level or even lecturers. Research concluded that the number of suicides among university students in the Netherlands has significantly increased over the decade, the main reason for

this

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action is the learners are unable to cope with the difficulty in some subjects. One preventive technique that can be utilised to tackle

this

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issue is to introduce the work-life balance to employees or students.

For example

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, the company management can organise an outdoor activity that relieves the

stress

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between workers and their supervisors.

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, for the students, being involved in extracurricular activities

such

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as sports and arts could be beneficial to reduce

stress

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levels. The second issue that can contribute to the

stress

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level is related to financial aspects. Many individuals have difficulty paying the repayments for online loans and credit cards. These are caused by overspending that exceeds their financial capability.

Therefore

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, they are left with minimum alternatives to repay the money which can lead to severe anxiety and pressure.

This

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hindrance could be measured by limiting our own expenditures and only spending on something

that is

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indispensable in our lives rather than purchasing tertiary stuff.

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, arranging the income into several bank accounts could limit unnecessary spending. In conclusion, the excessive pressure from the workplace and difficulties in the financial sector can elevate the

stress

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level of some people. Countermeasures

such

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as implementing work-life balance action and limiting our budget could alleviate the hindrance.

dwityawaskitoentFri Jan 12 2024

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task achievement

Provide a clearer and more detailed introduction to set the context of the essay better. Avoid jumping too quickly into details without establishing the general premise of the argument.

task achievement

Ensure the conclusion summarizes the main points of the essay effectively, reinforcing the argument and suggesting solutions without introducing new ideas.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of paragraphs by using a clear topic sentence followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence where applicable.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider variety of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of the essay, such as referencing words and transition phrases between sentences and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Support main points with more clear and specific examples, data, or references to strengthen the argument and to help illustrate the points more vividly.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Work-life balance
Burnout
Digital detox
Mindfulness
Coping mechanisms
Cognitive-behavioral therapy
Financial stability
Public awareness campaigns
Resilience training
Support networks

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In many countries, the number of people suffering from stress is increasing. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to tackle it?

Your opinion

Topic -"Prevention is better than a cure". Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures.

Some people say that your first impressions when you meet someone are always right. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Some people say it is important to keep your home and workplace tidy, with everything organized and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this ?