In the future, the main reason for going to shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. do you agree or disagree?

#future #reason #mall #entertainment #shop

In the upcoming years, the prime cause for visiting shopping

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

will be just for pleasure, not to purchase products. I totally agree with the notion

due to

alternative platforms and more convenient. To commence with the view of agreement that buyers find a discounted price

elsewhere

. To explain it, In

this

technological era more and more individuals use smartphones and they compare item prices online

as well as

in physical stores.

Moreover

, Online brands provide a variety of products

along with

huge discounts.

For Instance

, a survey conducted by Oxford University proves that 75% of shoppers check product prices and discounts online,

then

decide to buy something.

Furthermore

, many people tend to shop from websites, as store owners give doorstep delivery free of cost. To elaborate, Nowadays brands offer easy returns and free delivery to customers across the nation.

This

type of

convince

Replace the word

convincing

show examples

attracts potential buyers and

eventually

Add a comma

eventually,

show examples

they will get more sales .

For Example

, a headline of The Times Of India shows that 65 out of 100 online shoppers purchase products through websites and get quick delivery.

As a result

, shoppers get more convenient services from the brands.

To conclude

, Individuals

attract

Wrong verb form

are attracted

show examples

towards low prices with the same quality of the product not only, but

also

eventually they will feel a good shopping experience.

Submitted by birenp046 on Fri Jan 12 2024

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coherence cohesion

There is a lack of a clearly defined introduction and conclusion, and the essay does not exhibit a strong logical progression of ideas.

task achievement

While the essay presents a consistent response to the task with examples, it fails to fully develop and elaborate on all aspects of the prompt.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

217 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the future, the main reason for going to shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animals. Is it justified or there is any alternative? To what extent do you agree or diagree?

some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together, To what extent dou you agree of disagree wtih this opinion?

Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment compete with the younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions?

The number of people working online from home has grown in some countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?