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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others,however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #world #lifestyle
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It is argued that several
of
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individuals in the new world face challenges in having healthier lifestyles.
However
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, there are others who think that it is effortless to be in a good fitness if we
encouraged
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encourage
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 ourselves to be. In my opinion, I believe that there are a lot of difficulties to be in
a
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good well-being,
while
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 we can be in
a
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good
health
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 in accessible easiest ways . On the one hand, many say that there are impossibilities to maintain a healthier human.
In other words
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, with the rise of technology, a significant portion of the workforce is engaged in sedentary jobs, spending long hours sitting at desks.
This
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 lack of physical activity can lead to various
health
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 issues,
such
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 as back pain and obesity.
On the other hand
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, different kinds of people think that they can be
in
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a good fit if they believe to be. For more explanations, the internet and advancements in technology provide easy access to information on healthy living including, nutritional guidelines and exercise routines.
This
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 empowers individuals to make informed choices.
Finally
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, in my opinion, I believe that technology gives us accessible methods to follow for having
a
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better
health
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.
In other words
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, there are several affordable and accessible recorded videos on the YouTube website that are presented by well-known and specialised doctors and nutritionists who provide food recommendations to avoid different diseases
such
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 as obesity and accurate workouts that can help us to follow easily.
This
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 can provide us with better-controlled
health
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. In conclusion, the modern world offers obstacles and resources for healthy living people.
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, individuals have their own choices and prioritization.
However
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, everyone with
their
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the
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 right mindsets and access to information and tools can navigate the challenges and adopt a healthier lifestyle.
Submitted by dianaishaq on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure the introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the structure of the essay. This will provide a roadmap for the reader and ensure that the conclusion effectively summarises the main points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Develop logical paragraphs with clear topic sentences at the beginning, ensuring each paragraph discusses one main idea related to the question. Use cohesive devices appropriately to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Extend and support your main points with relevant examples. Avoid general statements and strive to provide specific details or evidence that reinforces your arguments.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. This includes discussing both views presented in the prompt and providing a clear opinion. Make sure your opinion is consistent throughout the essay.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are articulated clearly and comprehensively. This involves not only stating your points but also explaining them thoroughly to demonstrate a deep understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Use more relevant and detailed examples to support your points. General statements should be minimized, and specific examples should be used to demonstrate the validity of your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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