The government should control the amount of violence in films and televisions in order to decrease violent crimes in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #control #amount #violence #films #televisions #decrease #crimes #society

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There is a strong argument saying that the number of cruelty in

movies

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and TV shows needs to be controlled by the authorities. In my opinion, I completely agree with that because the influence of the

media

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is so impactful that it potentially affects the viewers'

behaviours

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. There is a necessity

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for

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the authorities to interfere and make

regulation

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regulations

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about that. In

this

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essay, I will discuss more details about it. Watching films and

television

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has become an integral part of our daily lives for every stage of the age. It drives the development of

media

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industries and encourages producers to release any kind of shows and

movies

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involving violent

scenes

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Media

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has become a birthplace of trends and people will follow what they have seen on

television

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or cinema and they tend to

normalised

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normalise

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everything it is. Consuming every content of the

media

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can impact the viewers'

behaviours

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For example

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, teenagers tend to earn a sense of confidence by adopting activities that are in the trend and their perspective,

however

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, with the limited knowledge they have of the consequences, it potentially

effect

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affects

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apply

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their

behaviours

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in society.

Consequently

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, too much portrayal of violent exposures may pose a strain on the development of society.

Furthermore

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, the government needs to conduct rules about the reduction of crime

scenes

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media

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As a result

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, reducing the amount of criminal display in

movies

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and

television

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programmes yields significant benefits in promoting the positive mental development of individuals.

For instance

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, a decline in violent shows can be a good start in controlling criminal

behaviours

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when residents have less exposure to those types of information and features that may lead to undesirable consequences.

Therefore

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, a fall in the number of inappropriate

television

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episodes and films is essential for effective control of criminal

behaviours

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by lessening the exposure to the public. In conclusion, I agree to a large extent that it is essential to reduce the number of violent

scenes

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movies

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and documentaries to decrease the exposure of criminal actions to the public which arises from the fact that

media

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is prevalent nowadays and

also

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from the fact that young people may copy and implement

scenes

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on shows that result in crime.

Submitted by nurulfitriakamilah on Fri Jan 12 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, it would be beneficial to ensure smooth transitions between ideas and sentences. Providing more 'signpost' phrases may guide the reader through your arguments more clearly. Additionally, the logical development of paragraphs can be enhanced by linking them more directly to the thesis statement provided in the introduction.

Task Achievement

For task achievement, the essay addresses the topic and provides an opinion as required. However, to reach higher score bands, ensure that your essay discusses the issue from multiple perspectives and avoids a too one-sided argument. More elaboration on the counterarguments would strengthen the overall response. Additionally, providing varied and relevant examples in support of your points will help to fulfil the task more completely.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

367 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Desensitization
Influence
Behavior
Artistic freedom
Censorship
Diverse viewpoints
Parental responsibility
Monitor
Correlation
Causation
Statistical evidence
Regulation
Effectiveness
Educational programs
Mental health support
Community policing
Content regulation
Violent crime rates
Practicality
International content
Cultural sensitivity

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The government should control the amount of violence in films and televisions in order to decrease violent crimes in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

With a growing population, many people believe that we should focus on producing more GM food. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this?