The government should control the amount of violence in films and televisions in order to decrease violent crimes in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a strong argument saying that the number of cruelty in
movies
and TV shows needs to be controlled by the authorities. In my opinion, I completely agree with that because the influence of the media
is so impactful that it potentially affects the viewers' behaviours
. There is a necessity of
the authorities to interfere and make Change preposition
for
regulation
about that. In Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
this
essay, I will discuss more details about it.
Watching films and television
has become an integral part of our daily lives for every stage of the age. It drives the development of media
industries and encourages producers to release any kind of shows and movies
involving violent scenes
. Media
has become a birthplace of trends and people will follow what they have seen on television
or cinema and they tend to normalised
everything it is. Consuming every content of the Change the verb
normalise
media
can impact the viewers' behaviours
. For example
, teenagers tend to earn a sense of confidence by adopting activities that are in the trend and their perspective, however
, with the limited knowledge they have of the consequences, it potentially effect
Correct your spelling
affects
of
their Change preposition
apply
behaviours
in society. Consequently
, too much portrayal of violent exposures may pose a strain on the development of society.
Furthermore
, the government needs to conduct rules about the reduction of crime scenes
in media
. As a result
, reducing the amount of criminal display in movies
and television
programmes yields significant benefits in promoting the positive mental development of individuals. For instance
, a decline in violent shows can be a good start in controlling criminal behaviours
when residents have less exposure to those types of information and features that may lead to undesirable consequences. Therefore
, a fall in the number of inappropriate television
episodes and films is essential for effective control of criminal behaviours
by lessening the exposure to the public.
In conclusion, I agree to a large extent that it is essential to reduce the number of violent scenes
in movies
and documentaries to decrease the exposure of criminal actions to the public which arises from the fact that media
is prevalent nowadays and also
from the fact that young people may copy and implement scenes
on shows that result in crime.Submitted by nurulfitriakamilah on
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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, it would be beneficial to ensure smooth transitions between ideas and sentences. Providing more 'signpost' phrases may guide the reader through your arguments more clearly. Additionally, the logical development of paragraphs can be enhanced by linking them more directly to the thesis statement provided in the introduction.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, the essay addresses the topic and provides an opinion as required. However, to reach higher score bands, ensure that your essay discusses the issue from multiple perspectives and avoids a too one-sided argument. More elaboration on the counterarguments would strengthen the overall response. Additionally, providing varied and relevant examples in support of your points will help to fulfil the task more completely.
