Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

due to

Linking Words

the negative effects of human behaviour in modern life, some rare animals are about to extinct, which is considered a threat to the future as the remaining animals would be in danger. I will explain the reasons for

this

Linking Words

point and some solutions will be given in

this

Linking Words

essay. to commence with, development in every sector plays a pivotal role in preventing

species

Use synonyms

habitat damage ,

while

Linking Words

people cut down many greenery spaces to make their lives better. Industries,

for instance

Linking Words

, have cleared many places that used to be an ideal habitat for many uncommon animals, thereby no chance has been given to them to continue living in the other areas because many industries are under construction in order to convince residents by giving them modern products or needs.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, executives are not concerned about the rules where the manufacturing industry is claiming their places on the greenery side. These factories

making

Wrong verb form

make

show examples

huge amounts of waste which are connected to the river directly.

Besides

Linking Words

that, the air has been polluted because of their emission which contains poisonous elements. These reasons are the most famous that caused death to the popular

species

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the practical solution to reduce damage to

species

Use synonyms

' habitats is by imposing a higher levy on cutting trees.

In addition

Linking Words

, ideal habitats for important

species

Use synonyms

would be less destroyed because of high contributions to the government account.

Moreover

Linking Words

, people are illiterate about the impact of cutting trees or damaging the greenery.

thus

Linking Words

, the Government should organise various social awareness events through the Internet or offline newspapers. Generally.

To sum up

Linking Words

, people who are concerned more about their modern life than the

species

Use synonyms

, need to alleviate the problems suffering

species

Use synonyms

so they can live natural lives which is more important than an artificial modern life.

Submitted by farjanaakterrikta8 on Fri Jan 12 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay addresses the topic, but the overall structure needs improvement. The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be clearer and more effective in presenting the core thesis and summarizing the key points. Work on creating a stronger thesis statement and a more impactful concluding paragraph.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your main points are somewhat supported, but the supporting details are not always clear or fully developed. Ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea and is fully developed with clear explanations and specific examples. Avoid vague statements and aim for a logical progression of ideas.

Task Achievement

You have addressed the task, but a more comprehensive development of ideas is necessary. Make sure to answer all parts of the question fully. Clearer and more comprehensive development of your points is needed to achieve a higher score. Expand on your ideas and provide specific examples to support your arguments.

Task Achievement

You provide some examples, but they are generally not specific or detailed enough to sufficiently illustrate the point you're trying to make. To improve, incorporate relevant and specific examples or case studies to substantiate your argument. Avoid making generalizations without backing them up with concrete evidence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

species extinction
endangered animals
biodiversity
habitat loss
deforestation
urbanization
poaching
illegal wildlife trade
climate change
pollution
conservation efforts
legislation
enforcement
human overpopulation
sustainable development
responsible consumption
education
awareness programs
protected areas
wildlife reserves
international cooperation
collaboration

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?
Nowadays, places that have extreme circumstances become exciting vacation destinations for many people. Though this might sound odd, there have been advantages and disadvantages towards this matters, for me personally having an experience in those conditions have much benefits when it is being supervised by local guides and with a good preparation.
4.5
band
Students perform better in school then they rewarded rather then punished. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answear and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or expirience.
Scholars carry out better in school when they rewarded than punished . I support idea of awarding students for great performing in school then giving punishments. Overall, every children should have their individual approach of how parents motivating them for better improvements in school education, but parents not always understand how stimulate their childs correctly as well as teachers. This essay will explore various opinions of how to do it right without leading it to any unfortunate consequences.
4.5
band
It will be better to have wide use of driverless cars for individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?
In this contemporary era, everything is growing rapidly, some companies started inventing cars with self-driving abilities, and I widely agree using driverless car definitely can benefit this society and most of the people, saving time while driving on the road has significant improvements for resident and reducing the number of car accidents that happen on the road.
7.5
band
Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?
It is true that growing trees and expanding the vegetation in an area is of high importance. While some people argue that vacant spaces in cities and towns whether should be a place for planting trees or for housing, I take a balanced view as I believe that both options have their own positives and necessities.
7
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
Besides the extensive rise of technological advancements in the present time, people often find that it is essential to know the story of their surroundings, including houses and buildings, by going back to the past. There are several reasons behind this trend and methods to assess it, which will be explained in the following paragraphs.

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Students perform better in school then they rewarded rather then punished. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answear and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or expirience.

It will be better to have wide use of driverless cars for individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?