IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

: Some people say that traffic accidents are caused by the increasing number of motorbikes. Other blame for man’s fault. Which point of view do you agree ?

In recent years,
traffic
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accidents
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 have been a noticeable problem not only in Vietnam but
also
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 throughout the world.
While
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 a school of thought holds that the rise in the number of
motorbikes
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 is a major reason, others still believe that what directly results in
this
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 alarming trend is human errors. From my perspective,
although
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 the upward trend of
Use synonyms
motorbikes
Fix the agreement mistake
motorbike
show examples
 consumption
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 lead to
this
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 issue, man's misbehaviors remain the core of
this
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 trend. It is undeniable that more
motorbikes
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 means that
people
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 have to struggle with greater congestion, which, indeed,
influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
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 their driving experiences negatively.
However
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, individuals are not flawless. First and foremost, carelessness
while
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 driving is one of the biggest causes of transportation
accidents
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. To illustrate, despite the obstacles and difficulties
people
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 may encounter when having a large number of vehicles especially
motorbikes
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 on the road, they are able to manage if they stay focused and prevent minor
distraction
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distractions
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such
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 as phones, gossiping, strangers,...
In addition
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,
traffic
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 participants often ignore their
responsibilites
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
 when controlling a
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
 of transport. It is evident that thanks to the advances
of
Change preposition
in
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 technology,
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traffic
Correct article usage
the traffic
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 system, nowadays, is modernised to meet
greater
Correct article usage
the greater
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 demand of citizens.
Therefore
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,
people
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 should pay enough attention to driving and be liable to
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 accompanied individuals. Unfortunately,
this
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 contradicts what
people
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 usually do on the road. Another aspect to be discussed is the lack of awareness among
people
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. A majority of them are
unware
Correct your spelling
unaware
show examples
 of
traffic
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 regulations and keep violating them constantly because they
are hurry
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are hurried
show examples
 or just refuse to follow the rules.
For example
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, some research
indicate
Change the verb form
indicates
show examples
 that the most prevalent causes of
traffic
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accidents
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 are speeding and alcohol
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
, at approximately 50 % and 15 % respectively.
This
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 means that most accidental situations on the road are led
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
considerably by human faults.
Also
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, intentional violation is another cause to be examined. To explain, some youngsters in today's society are urged to drive against the rules in order to show off their abilities
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 peers and depict their maturity.
According to
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 a
rencent
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recent
 study, not wearing
Correct article usage
a helmet
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helmet
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helmets
show examples
predominatly
Correct your spelling
predominantly
predominately
 accounts for a lot of
motorbikes
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accidents
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.
Resultly
Correct your spelling
Result
,
this
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 belief will affect the smooth
traffic
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 operation
as well as
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 pose a threat to individuals' lives and
well-beings
Correct your spelling
well-being
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. In conclusion, even though the increase in
motobikes
Correct your spelling
motorbikes
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
 can interfere with
Use synonyms
traffic
Correct article usage
the traffic
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system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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, human faults still play a vital part in transportation
accidents
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. It is recommended that we educate
traffic
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 participants about the importance of safe driving
as well as
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 impose stricter laws to warn
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
people
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 against violating
traffic
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 rules.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your position. It's good practice to paraphrase the essay prompt and directly state your viewpoint.
Task Achievement
To fully address the task, consider balancing your arguments, providing equal discussion on both perspectives before stating your conclusion. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay effectively with clear paragraphs, including topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure logical flow between paragraphs using cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, and transition words). However, be wary of overusing these, as they can make the essay sound mechanical.
Task Achievement
Support your points with specific examples or evidence. This strengthens your arguments and makes them more convincing. It's beneficial to elaborate on these examples for clarity.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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