IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Write about the following topic •Inventors are not as important to society as doctors •To what extent do you agree with this statement Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #•inventors #society #doctors #•to
It is undeniable that we are living in the modern era in which people desire a better
life
. Thanks to
the
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apply
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inventions and experts,
life
 has become easier. In fact, a part of
general
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the general
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 populace
hold
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holds
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 the notion that
doctors
 play an important role in
social
Replace the word
society
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while
 others don’t
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
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 so. They think that
inventors
 take on
the
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a
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 crucial role. I, personally, have confidence
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that they are equally essential, so I agree with
two
Correct article usage
the two
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 ideas. In
this
 essay, I’m going to explain fully about the details. On the one hand,
inventors
 play an indispensable part, in making
life
 more comfortable. When the Covid – 19 breaks out, the advent of vaccines has helped repel the disease by reason of researchers. What’s more,
inventors
 have invented many innovative products that help
life
such
 as light
bulb
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bulbs
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, mobile
phone
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phones
show examples
, transports, you name it,… These are modern and useful,
thus
 people can save time, save energy and
labor
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labour
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.
Example
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For example
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, because of
washer
Add an article
the washer
a washer
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, everyone doesn’t need to wash
the
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their
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 clothes by hand, they just put the clothes in the washing machine and
clothes
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the clothes
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 will be clean.
This
 is a testament to
inventors
’ necessity.
On the other hand
, If
life
 doesn’t have any invention, the field of medicine won’t
development
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develop
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. For
the
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this
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 reason
that
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apply
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,
doctors
art
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act
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 as those who directly carry out the tasks using the mechanism devised by
inventors
. We are living in
the
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an
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 era
which
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in which
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 the phenomena of globalization have been more ubiquitous than ever before. That’s why, modern equipment is increasingly developed in parallel with economic development.
As a result
 of technology and science, medical
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
are improve
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are improved
are improving
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,
doctors
 make things
comtrue
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come true
 on
large
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a large
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 – scale.
For instance
, nowadays, medical
expers
Correct your spelling
experts
expert
 can cure cancer diseases thanks to contemporary tools but in the past, these diseases were considered incurable.
To sum up
, every occupation functions as a cog in a machine so I suppose that. We can not deny the statement
that
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of
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 having two slides. What actually matters is that
inventors
 and
doctors
 should join hands for the same purpose.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure there is a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should clearly state your thesis, the body paragraphs should each focus on one main idea with supporting details, and the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate the thesis.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas across sentences and paragraphs. This helps to create a more cohesive and readable text. Avoid overusing them or using them incorrectly, as this can confuse the reader.
task achievement
Clearly present your ideas using fully developed arguments. Each paragraph should include a clear topic sentence, followed by explanation, examples, or evidence to support the main point.
task achievement
Make sure to directly address the prompt. Your response should consistently reflect the extent of agreement or disagreement with the statement given. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience to adequately support your argument.
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