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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is becoming increasingly popular to take a year off between finishing school and going to college. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#year #school #college
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In
this
Linking Words
 era,
gap
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year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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,
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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 a
year
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 off after graduating from school and before coming to campus,
become
Fix the infinitive
to become
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 famous in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humankind.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 trend looks like
create
Verb problem
it is
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harms
Replace the word
harmful
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,
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gap
Correct article usage
a gap
show examples
year
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 possibly be a good choice as it
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 some benefits
for
Change preposition
to
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 the
students
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. On the one hand,
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gap
Correct article usage
a gap
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year
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 seems like
wasting
Wrong verb form
a waste of
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time
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 and
money
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 since not all of the
students
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 use
this
Linking Words
time
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 wisely. When others start to study at college earlier, it probably means they will finish being the
undergraduated
Correct your spelling
undergraduate
students
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 before the
gap
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year
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students
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.
This
Linking Words
 would make they can focus on
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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job
Add an article
a job
the job
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 and
earn
Wrong verb form
earning
show examples
money
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 earlier. To illustrate, an undergraduate
student
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 normally could finish their study in 4 years so that they potentially get a job in the fifth
year
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.
However
Linking Words
, a
gap
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year
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student
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need
Change the verb form
needs
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 1
year
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 more than
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 normal college
student
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.
On
Change preposition
In
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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other
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
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, unfortunately, a
gap
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year
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student
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create
Change the verb form
creates
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 more
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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 and
earn
Correct subject-verb agreement
earns
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money
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 lately.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
students
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 who take a
gap
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year
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more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
 likely
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
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 more
time
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 to do some preparations before
get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
 into the campus. By doing
this
Linking Words
, they will know their own passion in order to choose the major that they want to join.
This
Linking Words
 will decrease the
posibility
Correct your spelling
possibility
on get
Change preposition
of getting
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 into the wrong major compared to the
students
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 that just
going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 to college after finishing school. Taking some courses and exploring a few fields in a
year
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 between passing school and coming to university,
for instance
Linking Words
, will be beneficial for the
students
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 to have a
well
Correct word choice
good
show examples
 understanding
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
strenght
Correct your spelling
strength
strengths
 and opportunities in
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 majors. In conclusion, taking a
gap
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year
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 without
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wise
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 has been creating disadvantages like wasting
time
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 and
money
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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, preparation can be done by implementing a
gap
Use synonyms
year
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 in order to avoid
major
Fix the agreement mistake
majors
show examples
 that
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 relate to
students
Use synonyms
' passion.
Submitted by joyapakpahan on

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introduction
Ensure that the essay has a clear introductory statement that outlines both the advantages and disadvantages of the discussed topic. Also, specify a clear thesis statement.
cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to structure the essay more clearly and coherently. However, avoid overuse or incorrect use of these devices.
main point support
Develop paragraphs with clear topic sentences, and ensure each main point is expanded with supporting details and examples. Beware of overgeneralization and strive for depth of analysis.
task response
Address all parts of the task, providing equal treatment to both sides of the argument (advantages and disadvantages) and ensure that your position is clear throughout the essay. Provide some direct examples if possible.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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