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Band 2.5

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familier with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your opinion.

#people #places #visit #food #familier #attitudes
Some
people
 prefer to spend their time on new
things
 that they have never done. And other
people
 like to allocate their time to regular
things
. Both of these ideas have advantages and disadvantages, but I would rather choose the second idea because
its
Change preposition
of its
show examples
 simplicity and regularity. The simplicity of doing regular activities rather than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new ones is the best
rasional
Correct your spelling
rational
 reason. Exploring new
things
 needs more
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
,
powers
Fix the agreement mistake
power
show examples
, and funds.
Despite
Correct pronoun usage
Despite this
show examples
, staying on what we regularly do
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 makes us
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
calm
Add an article
the calm
a calm
show examples
 zone that does not need more strength.
For example
, someone who
choose
Change the verb form
chooses
show examples
 his previous job will be
more calmful
Correct word choice
calmer
show examples
 than who
choose
Correct subject-verb agreement
chooses
show examples
 to develop his own business.
On the other hand
, the
regulirity
Correct your spelling
regularity
 of keeping on the regular
things
 is the reason that
people
 admire
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
. Because some
people
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not like to do
things
 that are not in their plan at all. And
also
, the regularity makes
people
 be
dicipline
Correct your spelling
discipline
disciplined
 for what they do.
For example
, someone who has
Correct article usage
a book's
show examples
book's
Change noun form
book
show examples
 plan will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
calmly think
what
Change preposition
about what
show examples
 will they do tomorrow. In conclusion, I admire
to stay
Change the verb form
staying
show examples
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 my routine activity more than
change
Wrong verb form
changing
show examples
 it to new
things
 because
its
Change preposition
of its
show examples
 simplicity and regularity.
Submitted by nurfaqihmuh on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction effectively paraphrases the task prompt and provides a clear thesis statement that outlines the scope of the discussion.
Task Achievement
Expand on your ideas to fully address all parts of the task with developed arguments and clear standpoints on the matter.
Task Achievement
Provide specific examples to illustrate and support your points. Avoid general statements that do not add meaningful detail to your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Construct paragraphs that begin with a clear topic sentence and are followed by supporting sentences that expand on the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a range of linking words and cohesive devices to create a smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay and reiterates your standpoint without introducing new arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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