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Band 4

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attraction. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#visitors #attraction
although
 many
people
 believe that the
people
 who travelled
differnet
Correct your spelling
different
 locations should pay more for the
sight seeing
Correct your spelling
sightseeing
show examples
 of cultural and
historial
Correct your spelling
historical
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
.
whereas
 I differ
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 statement to a large
extend
Replace the word
extent
show examples
 for some reasons. My position is argued
further
 with explanation in
subsquent
Correct your spelling
subsequent
 paragraphs. Out of all
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
, the foremost one is
Correct word choice
that foregin
show examples
foregin
Correct your spelling
foreign
 outsiders
visitors
 should not be charged more for any historical attraction
due to
 in equality all genders are equal in
this
 universe
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
that
 why it should be
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
.
following
this
 cause of high money
expecations
Correct your spelling
expectations
and
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 their right demands,
moeover
Correct your spelling
moreover
 local
visitors
 knows the
excat
Correct your spelling
exact
situation cost of a service. To add
this
 as an example if
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 local visitor
travel
Correct subject-verb agreement
travels
show examples
 outside the country as per money conversion they
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 to pay
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
 extra
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 of their different excise rate.
additionally
,
people
 go on holiday to relax and have fun. tourist can
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
differnet
Correct your spelling
different
 cultures.
this
 is because
tourist
Correct article usage
the tourist
show examples
 trade is vital for economic growth it
created
Wrong verb form
creates
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employement
Correct your spelling
employment
,
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
and transportation.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 it
put
Wrong verb form
puts
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pressure on local resources
also
 a small rise can affect the cost of living
within
Change preposition
for
show examples
 local
people
due to
forgein
Correct your spelling
foreign
visitors
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 spending capacity.
For Instance
Add a comma
,
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
american
Change the capitalization
American
show examples
 tourist visits in
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
for
couple
Change the article
a couple
show examples
 of months as per basic
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
 expenses would be less than spending in their own country because of huge diversification in money forex exchange.
However
, I would not overlook the other side too.
To begin
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
 outsiders can easily
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
pay extra
for adopting
Change preposition
to adopt
show examples
 the service because they are enjoying the local heritage and it costs for
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 to cover
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
maintenanace
Correct your spelling
maintenance
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 area.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 local businesses
such
 as farms and small
shopkeppers
Correct your spelling
shopkeepers
 get support from their
forgein
Correct your spelling
foreign
 source of income.
Thus
,
to conclude
 the discussion, it can be
finally
 said that
foregin
Correct your spelling
foreign
visitors
 can pay extra despite the fact
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 local
visitors
 will be supported.
Submitted by jeeteshdadlani007 on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should present the topic and your thesis statement, while the conclusion should summarize your arguments.
logical structure
Focus on creating a smooth and logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph should explore a single main idea with clear and relevant supporting details.
supported main points
Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately to link ideas within and across sentences and paragraphs.
complete response
Fully address the prompt by discussing the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement about foreign visitors paying more for cultural and historical attractions.
clear comprehensive ideas
Express your ideas clearly and develop them fully with explanations and examples. Avoid vague statements and ensure that your argument is comprehensive and persuasive.
relevant specific examples
Illustrate your points with relevant and specific examples. These can be drawn from your own knowledge, experience, or other credible sources.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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