The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is widely believed that improving many people's
lives
is the most significant contribution of science
and research. This
essay will discuss how this
statement is true and provide supporting explanations.
It can’t be denied that science
has played an essential role in various fields of life, especially in healthcare. For thousands of years, the healthcare system worldwide has improved significantly; we have scientists to thank for this
. For instance
, in this
day and age, when someone contracts an unknown rash on their skin, modern science
has made it possible to aid this
issue swiftly with the help of educated practitioners. Moreover
, this
is also
the case for non-health-related medical procedures such
as plastic surgery and other appearance-enhancing procedures. Those with the means to purchase these alterations can obtain them from experts. The underlying idea behind these statements is that people can improve their lives
instantaneously thanks to science
.
The prominence of technology in making our lives
easier can illustrate another consideration to support this
. For example
, transportation services have been developed, making commuting from one place to another no difficult task. Through this
advancement, those who work in cities also
benefit as they are offered an array of public transportation, such
as buses, trams, and trains, to avoid heavy traffic when using their vehicles. Moreover
, the innovation of the internet has made it so much easier for people to learn new things. For instance
, those unable to afford university degrees can now study online through courses to obtain official certificates that can be used when applying for jobs. As a result
, the job market is more accessible to those from lower socio-economic and educational backgrounds, producing a much larger pool of applicants.
In conclusion, though science
indeed comprises multiple branches of discipline, I believe they all share a common end goal: to enhance the quality of people’s lives
. Science
has played a pivotal role in the advancements of healthcare and technology, which has been proven to benefit society for the greater good.Submitted by studymeterr on
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coherence cohesion
While your essay presents a logical structure, it could benefit from clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each body paragraph. An improved topic sentence would more explicitly indicate the main idea, aiding the reader in following your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are well-presented, engaging, and restate the essay topic effectively. However, the conclusion could be expanded with a more nuanced restatement of your argument. Be careful not to introduce new ideas but rather synthesize what has been previously discussed.
coherence cohesion
Your main ideas are supported, but the support occasionally lacks depth. To elevate your scoring, ensure that each point is elaborated on equally. This means providing detailed examples or evidence for each idea you present, which will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You have addressed the task with a complete response and a clear position throughout the essay. However, for an even higher score, your essay would benefit from exploring contrasting viewpoints or discussing potential limitations or criticisms of the main argument to provide a balanced perspective.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant and generally contribute to the argument you are making. To refine their comprehensiveness, add more nuanced details that directly relate to the core of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay contains some relevant examples, but at times they need to be more specific and directly tied to the topic. Aim to include varied and detailed examples to illustrate your points and demonstrate the breadth and depth of your understanding.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?