IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Increasingly, many young people are deciding to work or study in other countries. What are the causes of this phenomenon? Do you think it is a positive or negative situation?

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Over recent decades, many societies have been trying to immigrate to
another countries
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
show examples
.
While
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 there are some disadvantages to going abroad, I personally believe the benefits are far more. Lack of
high
Correct word choice
apply
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prestigious universities and follow it, lack of work are the major causes of
this
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deciding
Replace the word
decision
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 for many communities
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 young
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
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 in undeveloped countries most
of
Change preposition
apply
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people
Use synonyms
 cannot go
school
Change preposition
to school
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 or faculty,
that is
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 because a vast number of families are poor and their children have to stay at home and contribute parents.
Additionally
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, their society will not be able to provide professional educational areas and
also
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 laborites for majors like medical science, agriculture, computer, and radiography. At the same time, since everyone
have
Add a missing verb
does have
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 not
a good studies
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good study
good studies
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so
Correct word choice
apply
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they do not hold any work as
better
Rephrase
well
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 as others who got taken from a good university. In
this
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 condition, not only could not
people
Use synonyms
 have university studies, but
also
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 they do not gain jobs.
On the other hand
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, there are those who subscribe to the view that migrating to
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
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 nationality has several benefits. I believe that everybody has some rights in their life.
For example
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, every human has some abilities which direct correctly in the world that
instead
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, authorities can use
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
for progressing their communities that can explain with some instances. When
people
Use synonyms
 go abroad for education or
finding
Change the verb form
to find
show examples
 a job, in fact, they will faced with a new culture and language, so they try to learn and
finding
Change the form of the verb
find
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 a great number of friends who are
different
Change preposition
of different
show examples
 nationalities. I
am
Verb problem
apply
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also
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believed
Wrong verb form
believe
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 that they broaden
Correct pronoun usage
their horizon
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horizon
Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
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 and if they go back
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 country, they will be able to develop there and become a
dominate
Replace the word
dominant
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 person. In conclusion,
although
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 going
another
Change preposition
to another
show examples
 country might have some disadvantages, I believe the benefits are far more. Learning international languages and friends are two decisive factors which everyone
consider
Change the verb form
considers
show examples
.

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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should set the stage for the discussion, and the conclusion should effectively summarize the main points and restate the writer's opinion.
Logical Structure
Organize your essay's main body logically with clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea that is expanded upon. Transitions between paragraphs must smoothly connect ideas.
Supported Main Points
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. This demonstrates an ability to think critically about the topic and provides weight to your arguments.
Complete Response
Cover all parts of the task. Make sure your essay addresses all elements of the prompt, including causes of the phenomenon and your opinion on whether the situation is positive or negative, with appropriate development.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Express your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Avoid overly complex sentence structures that could confuse the reader and ensure that your vocabulary is appropriate and accurate.
Relevant Specific Examples
Include relevant examples and details to support your arguments. Generic statements should be supplemented with specific details to substantiate your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Interconnected
  • Higher education
  • Prestigious institutions
  • Research facilities
  • Career advancement
  • International experience
  • Resume
  • Cultural exchange
  • Immerse
  • Broaden worldviews
  • Economic factors
  • Unemployment
  • Quality of life
  • Standards of living
  • Healthcare
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