alternative energy sources that use the natural power of the wind, waves and sun are too expensive and complicated to replace the coal ,oil and gas that we use to power our cities and transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?

These days, sustainable
energy
has been argued as a new paradigm that can solve the climate problem. Be that as it may,
however
, there are some saying
perceives
Correct subject-verb agreement
perceive
show examples
that the cost of producing
such
energy
from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural resources
such
as wind, waves, and sun
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
too pricey and complicated to
subtitute
Correct your spelling
substitute
the coal, oil, and gas that we
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
nowadays. I hardly disagree with the statement since the perks of having
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
renewable
energy
will repay the investments in many ways.
This
essay will shed some light on the
issu
Correct your spelling
issue
and the writer's point of view.
Firstly
, manufacturing
energy
from natural resources might be a new technology that
makes
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not many individuals know how
this
process works. It stands the reason,
therefore
, people think that
such
activities cost much compared to the conventional
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
. But in reality, installing solar
panel
Fix the agreement mistake
panels
show examples
is way more cost-efficient rather than regularly
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
the electricity bill.
This
is mainly because using a solar panel only
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
us to pay once for the
installment
Change the spelling
instalment
show examples
after which we can have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
continous
Correct your spelling
continuous
energy
without even
need
Wrong verb form
needing
show examples
to be burdened by the monthly or annual bill.
Secondly
, there is no shortage of
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
why, as far as I can see,
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
subtituting
Correct your spelling
substituting
the use of
refine
Change the verb form
refining
show examples
products is good for
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
as they will
reproducts
Correct your spelling
products
reproduces
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
a long period of time.
On the other hand
, the emission that
boost
Change the verb form
boosts
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming has always been an issue.
Thus
, empowering tides, solar, and wind has a bunch of merits that
payback
Correct your spelling
pay back
show examples
the investment that has
initially
been done. To recapitulate, I personally disagree that using wind, tides, and sun
cost
Wrong verb form
costs
show examples
more than
hte
Correct your spelling
the
unsustainable one.
Submitted by maukaburtubel on

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coherence cohesion
Overall, the essay lacks clear and logical structure. Ideas are presented in a haphazard manner without clear transitions or logical sequencing. An effective essay should have a clear introduction, body paragraphs that follow a logical sequence with clear topic sentences, and a coherent conclusion summarizing the main points made in the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but not effectively articulated. The conclusion merely recaps the argument without effectively summarizing the main points or mentioning the implications. A well-written essay will have an introduction that presents the topic and the writer's position, and a conclusion that restates the position and main arguments in a concise manner.
coherence cohesion
The essay's main points are present but not well supported. Specific examples are scarce, and the ones provided are not fully developed or directly relevant to the thesis. For a higher score, the essay should provide clear examples and evidence to support each point, and show how they are relevant to the argument or claim being made.
task achievement
The response is relevant to the prompt, albeit only partially addressing it. The essay does not fully explore the extent to which the writer agrees or disagrees, and there is little mention of the other side of the argument. A balanced response would have demonstrated both sides of the argument, giving a nuanced understanding of the topic before presenting a clear final position.
task achievement
Ideas should be clearly and comprehensively presented. The essay should articulate points in a manner that is easily followed by the reader, which implies a strong command of the topic and the ability to convey it. The ideas in the submitted essay wander and fail to build upon each other, reducing the clarity of the argument.
task achievement
To strengthen an argument, specific and relevant examples are crucial. They help illustrate and underpin the points being made. The current essay would benefit from more detailed and relevant examples tied closely to the topic to provide a more robust case for the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • initial investment
  • sustainability
  • inexhaustible
  • dependency
  • fostering
  • advancements in technology
  • efficient
  • user-friendly
  • surmountable
  • infrastructure development
  • grid adaptation
  • decentralized
  • local generation
  • consumption
  • distribution networks
  • environmental cost
  • ecological degradation
  • economic sense
  • moral imperative
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