Nowadays, many people choose to be selfemployed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being selfemployed?

The essay lacks clear logical sequencing in some parts which makes it difficult to follow the flow of ideas. There is an evident attempt to organize thoughts, but transitions are sometimes abrupt or unclear. It is important to improve the use of cohesive devices and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is thoroughly developed and linked to the overall topic.

While the essay attempts to address the prompts to some extent, the relevance and development of ideas are inadequate. The explanations are superficial and examples provided are not fully expanded upon to show a deep understanding of the topic. To improve, ensure a clearer position is presented in the introduction and consistently maintained throughout the essay. Develop each main idea comprehensively, providing detailed explanations and evidence where appropriate. Writing should also be expanded to cover the potential benefits of self-employment along with the disadvantages, and how these interplay in the decision-making process.