It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweuigh the disadvatages ?

#people #risk #lives #outweuigh #disadvatages

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Our lives depend on our choices. For some people, taking

risks

is essential to their lives, but for others, they always avoid taking their own

risks

. From my point of view, taking

risks

is necessary and plays an important role in our lives. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand, taking

risks

brings us a lot of benefits and experiences for life.

Firstly

, when we overcome the

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

that we have to face, we can learn from

this

experience. Stepping out of our comfort zone and taking

risks

will give us more courage and confidence in ourselves. Another advantage of taking

risks

is that creating new opportunities leads to success. Elon Musk, the richest person on the planet, says, “Failure is an option here. If things are not failing, you are not innovating enough". On the other side, taking

risks

also

has some disadvantages. Just taking

risks

does not always lead to success. There are unpredictable outcomes to the

risks

we face that can make us frustrated and lose faith in ourselves.

For example

, we invest all our money in a project that we do not know if we can succeed and profit from or not. If we fail, it will greatly affect our finances and spirit. In conclusion, I believe that the positive of taking

risks

outweighs the negative. Whether they fail or succeed in taking

risks

, they learn many lessons from them. Creating new opportunities is part of taking

risks

Submitted by jakelong16091994 on Sat Jan 13 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a clear position throughout the response which is crucial for Task Achievement. However, to score higher, ensure to answer all parts of the question fully. Addressing how the advantages of risk-taking might outweigh the disadvantages with more detail and exploration would enhance your argument.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, it would be beneficial to include more transition phrases that highlight contrasts or comparisons between points. This will make the organisation of your ideas clearer to the reader, thereby creating a more logical structure. Additionally, rather than just presenting points, expand on them by explaining the connection and implications they have regarding the topic at hand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

238 words

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It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweuigh the disadvatages ?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that robots are very important to human's future development, while others believe they are dangerous and negatively affect society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People have different job expectations for jobs. Some people prefer to do the same job for the same company, whereas others prefer to change jobs frequently. Write about advantages and disadvantages of each view point?

Some parents give house chores to their children to develop their characters and self-sufficiency, while some do not. Discuss both views and give your own opinion!

Some people believe that anyone can create art such as painting, poetry, music and so on. Others think that a person should have special abilities to create art. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many individuals abuse their power or influence to get their family members jobs that they might not be well-suited for. What are the problems created by this evil and suggest some solutions.